11 year old hangs himself after bullying

Crispy · #1 04-15-2009, 07:50 PM

I did a search to see if there was a thread already started and couldn't find one. Also, I'm not sure if this is the right place for the thread.

Apparently he was being called gay at school daily and he hung himself with an extension cord.

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news...36/detail.html

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoo...7328091&page=1

Shells2 · #2 04-15-2009, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pia

My husband told him he needed to take care of it or not come home...

WOW!! I think that was pretty risky. I mean I'm glad that your son took care of things and isn't being bullied anymore, but .... WOW.

What a horrible position for your family to be in. I'm glad it all worked out.

I wonder if kids are meaner now, or more sensitive, or maybe we just hear about it in the media more now...because I don't remember any of this kind of stuff ( children ending their lives over bullying) happening when I was growing up.

airportwoman · #3 04-17-2009, 09:02 AM

And people wonder why kids take guns to school and shoot their classmates.

Whenever I hear about a one-on-one shooting, stabbing, etc. at a school, I ALWAYS wonder if the "victim" had it coming.

Yes, I know the story about a poster's nephew, the transgendered boy who was shot by a classmate. When I heard the story, I thought it was the other way around - the transgendered boy shot a tormentor - and had that been the case, it just might have been justifiable homicide.

Ask me how I know this.

airportwoman · #4 04-17-2009, 01:55 PM

When I get home, I will post a link to an NPR story I heard this morning about the worst act of school violence in American history.

In 1927, a school janitor dynamited the school where he worked in Bath, Michigan, killing himself and 38 children. A survivor, now aged 97, was interviewed by his niece for the Storycorps project.

I had heard of this story, vaguely, and would bet very few people know it ever happened.

airportwoman · #5 04-17-2009, 08:21 PM

Here's the link.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/s...ryId=103186662

airportwoman · #6 04-17-2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Citygirl

I've thought about this long and hard..my children were never bothered by bulling like some are..it is shameful..
School is a place where you're children should not only be safe, but, feel safe as well.
I think if the schools had to accept more responsibility for the bullying that goes on that they are aware of..you would see a definite taper off or way down at least..
You can't tell me a couple of big judgment awards, highly publicized, wouldn't deter some of this, not only harsh, but dangerous behavior.

And paid not by the school, but by the parents who raised their kids to treat others that way.

There was one girl who used to tell me I was ugly. A few years after we graduated, she wasn't wearing her seatbelt, went through the windshield, and had dozens of operations to rebuild her face.

There was a boy who told me he was going to drive me to suicide. Guess what his dad did a few years after we graduated? When I got the news, I got a sympathy card and wrote in it, "Hi, Jeff! Remember when we were in 9th grade and you told me you were going to keep picking on me until I killed myself? Ha! Ha! Ha!" The only reason I did not mail it was because I knew I would not see his reaction when he opened it.

The reaction of my parents and others in authority? "Why do you let them do this to you?" or "Maybe you should try being nice to them" or crap like that.

If I said any more, I would probably be banned.

withay · #7 04-18-2009, 01:03 AM

When I started high school, they had under estimated how many busses they would need. So for the first few weeks some of the last to be picked up had to stand in the aisles. One afternoon, one of the boys on the bus thought it would be funny to spit globs on the back of some of the people standing. I heard him say, "I'm going to hit that girl in the red sweater with the white stripe next." Guess what I was wearing? I Turned around and said, "I would not recommend that." But he did not listen to me and spit. So I turned around, walked down the aisle to him,
put my hands together like I was going to swing a baseball bat and knocked him out of his seat. I was about 120 pounds and 5 foot tall, he was on the football team and had reached a full man sized growth. Until then, the bus driver had conveniently not heard anything. We both got kicked off the bus for a week and my parents happily drove me to school. But nobody ever picked on me again.

The really funny thing is that my sister has a similar story from 8 years later! She also was never picked on again.

misty jade · #8 04-20-2009, 12:53 PM

I was a quiet, studious kid who was more into reading than pop culture and so was looked on by bullies as good fodder...initially.

In 8th grade one kid thought it was fun to go around making sexually explicit harassing comments and snapping my bra. I was so embarrassed. But one day in class (the teacher was out of the room) when I was bent over by a book shelf, out of the corner of my eye I saw him reaching for my back and my temper just soared. I swear I saw red.

I snatched up the biggest book I could find (a hardbound dictionary, I think), whirled on him, and threatened to brain him if he even thought about touching me. With my wordy weapon, I also wound up backing my would-be sexual harasser right out the back door of the room and wouldn't let him come back in. This was in plain view of the whole class, most of whom were mightily enjoying seeing this kid get taken down a peg. He called for help from some of his buddies who got up but then must've taken one look at my face and decided against it since I was ready and willing to clobber them too. (They had also been making comments)

I did not let that kid back in until the teacher returned to the classroom. Then I sat back down and said not one word about it. I'm sure the teacher knew something was going on, but not exactly what and nobody was talking. In any case, after that nobody was snapping this girl's bra again and the comments stopped too.

In high school one *itchy band girl started pinching me hard/clawing at me/hitting me when the teachers/advisors weren't looking, while making nasty comments too. I got mad and told my parents who gave me their permission to lay her out flat the next time she tried it (I was not to 'start' anything but, per their words, I could absolutely 'finish it').

I told the band advisor what my parents had said and that I planned to do exactly that if she laid another hand on me. Notice of Intent, I guess you could call it. I said that teen witch would definitely be picking herself up off the ground if it happened. Evidently the word got from the band advisor to the girl in question in record time, because that harassment stopped immediately.

Crispy · #9 04-20-2009, 04:53 PM

This is a hard situation for kids. I know in my case, I've told my son it's not right to hit people, but on the other hand you want them to defend themselves.

My oldest son does get picked on at school. He's very smart and he just doesn't get into all the sports and things that the other boys do. Sometimes he hangs out with the girls, but then the boys just make fun of him. There have been several days that he has come home and said it was the worst day of his life. I tell him that he's only in third grade and there are going to be days that are worse! I've tried to teach him to use his words and not be afraid to tell his teacher or principal if there is someone he is really afraid of.

I'm kind of lucky that his class size is on the small side and the teacher can notice things going on and there has been times she will call me to come in and talk about things.

Hengirl · #10 04-20-2009, 10:04 PM

I hope the bullies burn in hell.

wondering? · #11 04-20-2009, 10:32 PM

This is one of the saddest stories out there, just listening to his mother talk about her beautiful son made me cry. He was the sweetest looking boy.
Those bullies should be knocked down a few pegs, as they say.
They need to have sensitivity training in school!

airportwoman · #12 04-21-2009, 11:22 AM

That blue eyes/brown eyes thing originated in the 1960s with an elementary school teacher in rural Iowa. I'll look for a link about it.

Edit: Here's one.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Elliott

Crispy · #13 04-21-2009, 10:14 PM

This is just horrible. Another boy, same age, same situation, being called gay and a snitch by other kids.

Annie143 · #14 04-24-2009, 01:42 AM

I think it may have been a combination of factors that led them to take their lives. The bullying was only part of it. We dont know what went on in the homes.

They were such sweet, handsome boys. It breaks my heart.

LostinSpace · #15 04-24-2009, 03:07 PM

Do we know for sure if he hanged himself on purpose or was he just playing the choking game?

airportwoman · #16 04-24-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LostinSpace

Do we know for sure if he hanged himself on purpose or was he just playing the choking game?

That's definitely a possibility.

Several months ago, a 14-year-old boy in my town was found hanged in his home, and the ME ruled it a suicide. People who knew him said they don't think he deliberately killed himself, that he maybe was playing the choking game or that it was one of those autoerotic things.

I know a man who found his brother under similar circumstances.....back in the 1950s.

What scares me about all this bullying/suicide publicity is that kids who want to get rid of someone might ramp up their bullying with the hopes that the target will kill themselves.

Kids that age just don't think.

And karma can be really, really ugly. A classmate who tried to get me to kill myself when we were in 9th grade lost his dad to suicide a few years after we graduated.

Valkyrie08 · #17 04-24-2009, 07:15 PM

I was bullied in school from around the 2nd grade to the 6th grade. Most of the time, kids made fun of me for my wild, crazy afro. There were times when they would tease me just to rile me up. My mom told me to just ignore them. So, I just ignored their mean comments and let them know that I wasn't going to waste a second of my time listening to their put downs. I would also surprise some of them with complements, such as "That is a nice outfit you're wearing", or "Your hair looks nice today." I'm actually friends now with some of these old bullies, LOL.

Basically, I dealt with bullies by killing them with my kindness.

inv · #18 04-24-2009, 10:36 PM

This is a very sad thing. I will keep this mother and family in my thoughts.

dulcinea · #19 04-27-2009, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by airportwoman

When I get home, I will post a link to an NPR story I heard this morning about the worst act of school violence in American history.

In 1927, a school janitor dynamited the school where he worked in Bath, Michigan, killing himself and 38 children. A survivor, now aged 97, was interviewed by his niece for the Storycorps project.

I had heard of this story, vaguely, and would bet very few people know it ever happened.

Being from MI and having gone to college in that area I do know of this story. I am curious to know what made NPR bring it up after all these years. Do you happen to know the context? Every once in a while I see this story told on TV, A&E, but I can't think of the name of the show.