Another child brutally injured by mom's b/f.

[Leanne Weich]

This is just too horrific for words.

http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=310571

http://www.wral.com/news/local/story/3974071

[lunchlady]

Ugh.
I used to work on a burn unit and I learned there that the WORST person statistically to leave a young child with is a boyfriend. Boyfriends sometimes resent kids for even existing, because they compete for mom's attention, they are some other man's child, the boyfriend gets stuck babysitting if the mom has a job and they don't. It's hard to take care of small children sometimes even if they are your own, but some men really don't have the aptitude for child care.
The physical danger seems to go down as the kids get older, but then the danger of sexual abuse goes up.

[Leanne Weich]

Originally Posted by lunchlady

Ugh.
I used to work on a burn unit and I learned there that the WORST person statistically to leave a young child with is a boyfriend. Boyfriends sometimes resent kids for even existing, because they compete for mom's attention, they are some other man's child, the boyfriend gets stuck babysitting if the mom has a job and they don't. It's hard to take care of small children sometimes even if they are your own, but some men really don't have the aptitude for child care.
The physical danger seems to go down as the kids get older, but then the danger of sexual abuse goes up.

One would think by now that mothers would know this but, unfortunately, all too often, their major concern is having a man in their life. This poor excuse of a mother was well aware of what was happening and didn't protect this poor child. I wonder where the boy's father is?

[bkwits]

Originally Posted by Leanne Weich

One would think by now that mothers would know this but, unfortunately, all too often, their major concern is having a man in their life. This poor excuse of a mother was well aware of what was happening and didn't protect this poor child. I wonder where the boy's father is?

Hi Leanne, Thanks for posting this. I hope it will make some single mom think about the people she brings into her child's life.

Do we know how old the child is, and what his condition is now. I couldn't get the first link to open.

Apparently the mom was aware that this went on, as she is being charged. What is wrong with her anyway. The man must be a madman. Poor kid.

Originally Posted by bkwits

Hi Leanne, Thanks for posting this. I hope it will make some single mom think about the people she brings into her child's life.

Do we know how old the child is, and what his condition is now. I couldn't get the first link to open.

Apparently the mom was aware that this went on, as she is being charged. What is wrong with her anyway. The man must be a madman. Poor kid.

first link, corrected:

http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=310571

11 years old, but it doesn't give an update on condition.

The BF has to be a sociopath & the mother is worse for allowing this to happen to her child. They're both a waste of skin.

I'm having a very difficult time understanding how this isn't sexual abuse as well as physical abuse.

[i4doors]

i am a single mom of 2, plan to stay that way too. *hit like this, is why i am going to stay away from men...ugh.

[bkwits]

Originally Posted by i4doors

i am a single mom of 2, plan to stay that way too. *hit like this, is why i am going to stay away from men...ugh.

I was a single mom of three young children. I met and married a good man. We were married 31 years when he passed away. My husband knew that I would never tolerate his putting his hands on my children (except in an affectionate, fatherly way). I think the mom was almost as bad as the BF. IMO

[airportwoman]

Originally Posted by lunchlady

but some men really don't have the aptitude for child care.

Quite a few women don't either. We see evidence of this every day on this board and in the news.

for all the innocent victims.

[airportwoman]

Originally Posted by interested

first link, corrected:

http://www.fayobserver.com/article?id=310571

11 years old, but it doesn't give an update on condition.

The BF has to be a sociopath & the mother is worse for allowing this to happen to her child. They're both a waste of skin.

I'm having a very difficult time understanding how this isn't sexual abuse as well as physical abuse.

Does anyone know if this boy was disabled? How could someone do this to an 11-year-old unless he was, or he was drugged or beaten unconscious.

[Leanne Weich]

Originally Posted by bkwits

I was a single mom of three young children. I met and married a good man. We were married 31 years when he passed away. My husband knew that I would never tolerate his putting his hands on my children (except in an affectionate, fatherly way). I think the mom was almost as bad as the BF. IMO

I was a single mom of 2 daughters when I met my current husband 28 years ago. I didn't introduce him to my kids for over a year and then we got engaged and married 2 years later. He knew that if he ever lifted a hand in anger to one of my kids that would be the end of us, if not him. He is a wonderful dad and granddad and has never spanked my DDs or our DD. Thank God there are wonderful men like ours in the world.

[v8433]

As Bkwits and LW said, I to was a single Mom w/ 3 small children and I met a man, I waited 7 yrs before marring him 21 yrs ago. That would not have happened in my home, no ma'am, I would have known, he would have died. You HAVE to know, and if you allow it, you are just as guilty as the perpetrator ...What I dont understand is that they will probably send that poor child back to his mother. It happens all the time and the child usually winds up dead. MOO

[Amy]

SOMEONE posted bond for "mom." So, that probably means some family in the area. Hope they aren't of the same cloth she is. She isn't charged w/much--wonder what her sentence will be, and if she will have to serve any of it, or it get reduced to probatioin or time served?

Even if the child goes to family, and not to "mom" seems in some family circles, the family will see to it that the child not only spends time w/"mom" but would probably let her even take him home. Or, heck, the judge might be stupid enough to give custody back.

Wonder if, when bf gets out (SURELY he will be convicted of some if not all the charges) "mom" will con't to think he is the cat's meow and let him back in, whether she gets custody of the child or not.

I see that all the time--the "mom" just wants so bad to have a man either in her life, or to take care of her. Altho it does seem sometimes that the type of "man" this type of woman attracts is a POS who sits on his keester and she works her tail off to not only support her kids, but also a sack of garbage.

I can't imagine having such a low self esteem (because what else could it be?) that I would want to support a piece of nothing, just to have a "man" around. There are women who, unlike those who posted above, whine and moan and complain about being a single mom trying to support her kid(s) and you look and there is an able-bodied "man" in the picture who probably uses more of her money that she and her kids get to. And, then, of course, someone like that--how long before the kids interupt his nap or his tv viewing, or need something to eat or to have a diaper changed, and he gets all bent out of shape. And, the next thing you know, some little kid is injured or dead. Or walks around being abused, and not telling anyone, and has low self-esteem, and the circle goes on.

[cantstandnuts]

Originally Posted by WickedRent

I believe that if you have a guy that you have kids with, you stay with that guy.

If he leaves you, you don't go stomping around and looking for the next hot guy. You go to your dad....Dads are always there for their daughters.

There are good men out there. The problem here is these women have such a distorted view of how they themselves should be treated and what they deserve, that they actually take in guys who will not only treat them like crap, but also their children. They're like creep magnets.

It isn't realistic, IMO to think you can stay with a guy because you've had kids with them. Unhappy unions can hurt a child seriously and they create very unhappy and unhealthy existances for everyone.

There are women who can move on and not fall into the trap that these women do by exposing their kids to danger. The women who are able to do this have self respect and would never allow what these "mothers" do. And they love their kids. We have examples of that posting right here on this thread. A second relationship doesn't necessarily mean a horrible ending. It all depends on the woman's sense of self respect and priorities.

JMO

[airportwoman]

And I have certainly known plenty of women who married the first man who asked her for a date after her husband's death, and this proved to be an enormous disaster as well, regardless of how old she and the kids (if she had them) were.

Men can fall into the same trap as well.

[museumgirl]

No woman should stay w/a man (or vice versa) just because of a child.... what if that bio parent is abusive to either spouse or child??? If they are not in love that is just as damaging to a child.

Woman can find a new man and re-marry ~ they just have to use their heads and not worry about their needs being met soley. They still have to put their child as their first priority... married to that childs father or not.

No all boyfriends are evil. My mom was w/my stepdad for like ten years before they got married... and he was WAY better than my sperm donor... who was an abusive POS. My dad raised me w/more love and devotion than if I had been his own... and all that was even before they were married and he adopted me. Give the good men credit.

[lunchlady]

Originally Posted by airportwoman

Quite a few women don't either. We see evidence of this every day on this board and in the news.

for all the innocent victims.

Yes, there are plenty of good guys out there, and plenty of not so great women too. Sorry to make it sound like its only men who don't always measure up in the childcare department.

I know a woman with two children who got remarried and it wasn't disastrous, but the new husband was just so disinterested in her kids and wanted so much of her attention that she divorced him even though he wasn't actually ever outright mean to them or her. She felt like she had to choose between him and her children, which she hadn't expected when she got remarried. He had made some efforts to be nice to them and she had hoped that they would all get closer over time, but it just didn't happen. Maybe he would have been the same way if he had been the kids' biodad, but she decided it wasn't fair to her kids and dumped the guy. I was somewhat surprised at the time because she gave up a considerably nicer financial situation, but I think she made the right choice. Being ignored and pushed out of the way is also a form of abuse.

[airportwoman]

Originally Posted by lunchlady

Yes, there are plenty of good guys out there, and plenty of not so great women too. Sorry to make it sound like its only men who don't always measure up in the childcare department.

I know a woman with two children who got remarried and it wasn't disastrous, but the new husband was just so disinterested in her kids and wanted so much of her attention that she divorced him even though he wasn't actually ever outright mean to them or her. She felt like she had to choose between him and her children, which she hadn't expected when she got remarried. He had made some efforts to be nice to them and she had hoped that they would all get closer over time, but it just didn't happen. Maybe he would have been the same way if he had been the kids' biodad, but she decided it wasn't fair to her kids and dumped the guy. I was somewhat surprised at the time because she gave up a considerably nicer financial situation, but I think she made the right choice. Being ignored and pushed out of the way is also a form of abuse.

Was their biodad alive and in the picture, and did the husband have children of his own?

A lot of people marry someone with kids thinking it's going to be a ready-made family, or the bio parents say things like "You have a new daddy/mommy so you don't need the old one any more" or any combination of other factors.

[Santa'sMom]

Why would the newspaper print that the boy was castrated? They may not be mentioning his name but I'm sure most people in that area know who he is. What business is it of the world's that this poor kid has to live with this? I think publishing that information is almost as bad as what the boyfriend did. I wonder if there are any kind of charges that could be brought against the newspaper? That is just so very wrong. I hope the poor kid can move away from there. As for the question of how the man did that to an 11 year old boy without the boy defending himself, one of the articles mentioned strangulation marks around the boy's neck. The scum probably choked him until he passed out, or close to it. So wrong, so very, very wrong.

[Amy]

Originally Posted by Santa'sMom

Why would the newspaper print that the boy was castrated? They may not be mentioning his name but I'm sure most people in that area know who he is. What business is it of the world's that this poor kid has to live with this? I think publishing that information is almost as bad as what the boyfriend did. I wonder if there are any kind of charges that could be brought against the newspaper? That is just so very wrong. I hope the poor kid can move away from there. As for the question of how the man did that to an 11 year old boy without the boy defending himself, one of the articles mentioned strangulation marks around the boy's neck. The scum probably choked him until he passed out, or close to it. So wrong, so very, very wrong.

I see the article printed today isn't the original one. I couldn't remember castration, but this is a different article. Good grief!!! It occured from the 26th to the 1st? WHAT was that mother thinking of--did she not notice something was wrong?

I agree, I don't think all the gory details needed to be printed, altho it would come out if there is a trial. I suppose the POS will plead not guilty and try to get off the hook. This article didn't say anything about the mom, I hope she gets a good stiff sentence, too!!!

[Annie143]

This a late posting to this thread but, I have found that writing to the newspapers about the outrage of something like this is very effective.
I believe in being proactive in whatever I can about child abuse.

This is one of the sadder cases I have seen or heard about. Poor child.