Off-duty Chicago police officer shoots his 2 kids and commits suicide.

[Heidi J.]

The 7 year old daughter died this morning. I pray the 9 year old boy will pull through. His mother must be devastated.

Why do they kill the children?

Link

[Heidi J.]

This article states the daughter was 8 and the son is 12

Originally Posted by Heidi J.

This article states the daughter was 8 and the son is 12

Yeah, isn't that odd?

from the original link:

The man was found with what appeared to be a self-inflicted gunshot wound in the head, she said. Officials have given varying ages of the children, but public records show the girl was 7 years old and the boy was 9.

And yes, why can't they just take themselves out, why do they have to take the children!

[Alibar]

.
IMO, some of these men who commit suicide and also kill their children when the ex-wife is not at the scene (therefore, she lives), do so, to get "even" with her for whatever reason is in their sick evil head.

[GentleBreeze]

We really have no idea why these things happen or what was in the mindset of the parent when they do this unspeakable thing.

But sometimes I do think there is an underestimation of a father's love and bond to his children that is automatically assumed is there if the mother is the killer.

His partner's wife said that this man's children was more or less his life and there were custody issues.

I just wish that both parents would do the right and honorable thing and realize it is not about them but all about the children feeling that they can see and express undying love for both parents. Imo each parent should try their best to make it as easy for the children as they can and not get them caught up in the middle where they are unhappy but afraid to tell one parent how much they really love the other parent or want to see them.

I don't think his motivation was to get even. I think he struggled and couldn't overcome the thought that they were gone from his life as he had known it unless their mother gave her permission when, how, where, if, he could see them.

I have never thought one parent should have more parental power over the children than the other one. Especially if the other parent has fully helped to raise the children and continually wants a good relationship with them.

My sympathy is for these two children who it seems was caught up in a conflict created by their adult parents. I feel they were most likely treated like pawns in an adult senseless war.

imoo

[Alibar]

GentleBreeze, you are certainly correct in saying, "We really have no idea why these things happen or what was in the mindset of the parent when they do this unspeakable thing...."

Makes me wonder why I even thought I would post my opinion, since we really have no idea. Sorta makes my opinion as valid as any other opinion, seems to me.

It would be a better world if parents could be 'nice' to each other and not use their children as pawns. Yep, that's true. It would be nice. Unfortunately, some people love their children so much they kill them.

What?


Sorry! I'm contradicted so often with little reason, I can't help myself. lol lol

[GentleBreeze]

Originally Posted by Alibar

GentleBreeze, you are certainly correct in saying, "We really have no idea why these things happen or what was in the mindset of the parent when they do this unspeakable thing...."

Makes me wonder why I even thought I would post my opinion, since we really have no idea. Sorta makes my opinion as valid as any other opinion, seems to me.

It would be a better world if parents could be 'nice' to each other and not use their children as pawns. Yep, that's true. It would be nice. Unfortunately, some people love their children so much they kill them.

What?


Sorry! I'm contradicted so often with little reason, I can't help myself. lol lol

I wasn't contradicting you at all Alibar. You may be right for we absolutely do not know what was in the mindset of each of those who takes their children's lives and then kills themselves.

I really don't know... I can only speculate. Some have said a mother may think the children are better off deceased with her now gone so maybe the father thinks that is the case too.

But I do think that father's too are very emotionally bonded to their children. In fact I have seen more and more fathers where the children are more bonded to them than their mothers. A lot of dads these days are very interactive with their raising and care imo.

I don't think there is really a rhyme or reason and certainly not a consistent one. I think it is most likely based on each case when it happens and the parents involved.

I have just tried to walk in the shoes of the father, ( not ones who kill as that is unforgivable imo) but trying to be fair mined about custody issues and I must admit that if I loved my children dearly and raised them well and then was told I could only see them like a makeshift parent, I just cant fathom the pain or even the anger the father would feel by being pushed out of their own children's lives. Thats all.

There are just always two sides to every issue imo. So that is why I too speculate because I think so many factors can come into play.

I agree, I wish they both would think about the emotional and mental wellbeing of their own children instead of trying to win their own petty war against each other.

imo

[Donnah]

Originally Posted by GentleBreeze

We really have no idea why these things happen or what was in the mindset of the parent when they do this unspeakable thing.

Sure we do:

Fathers who kill their children, and frequently their wives as well, are known as "Family Annihilators" to criminal psychologists or psychiatrists, and to law enforcement. They are not mentally ill, but coldly calculating, and often spend months planning their crimes. Because they often kill themselves too, these crimes don't always make the news in media-friendly trials, but in the United States, there are 10 murder-suicides each week.

The major factors leading men to kill their families include impending divorce, male sexual jealousy, an obsession with control, and possessiveness, according to Dr. Jack Levin, a criminal psychology expert from North-Eastern University in Boston. A Scottish psychiatrist, and director of Priory Hospital in Glasgow. Scotland, Dr. Alex Yellowlees, says that there are definite differences between men and women who kill or harm their children. He says that women tend to be mentally ill, frequently suffering from post-partum depression. Men, on the other hand, feel rage, jealousy, hatred, and revenge when they kill their families.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...thers_who.html

[GentleBreeze]

Originally Posted by Donnah

Sure we do:


http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...thers_who.html

Yes, I am aware that this has been stated. However since the fathers are dead and cannot tell the reason it is only an opinion and not factual imo.

I have also read articles that stated because we group the genders into stereotypes, for all any of us know, the father too may be just as crazy as the mother when they do this.

I do not think every case is a cookie cutter reason. And I don't agree that women have some an indelible bond with their children and men cannot have that same bond. I see everyday the bond that many fathers have with their children and the children with them.

To me it promotes a slanted view that all fathers have no emotional feelings when it comes to their children and all woman do which imo is a farce.

imoo

[Marcia3]

Originally Posted by GentleBreeze

Yes, I am aware that this has been stated. However since the fathers are dead and cannot tell the reason it is only an opinion and not factual imo.

I have also read articles that stated because we group the genders into stereotypes, for all any of us know, the father too may be just as crazy as the mother when they do this.

I do not think every case is a cookie cutter reason. And I don't agree that women have some an indelible bond with their children and men cannot have that same bond. I see everyday the bond that many fathers have with their children and the children with them.

To me it promotes a slanted view that all fathers have no emotional feelings when it comes to their children and all woman do which imo is a farce.

imoo

ITA. Not everyone who kills can fit into one of the pigeonholes already carved out for them. JMO, of course.

Originally Posted by GentleBreeze

Yes, I am aware that this has been stated. However since the fathers are dead and cannot tell the reason it is only an opinion and not factual imo.

I have also read articles that stated because we group the genders into stereotypes, for all any of us know, the father too may be just as crazy as the mother when they do this.

I do not think every case is a cookie cutter reason. And I don't agree that women have some an indelible bond with their children and men cannot have that same bond. I see everyday the bond that many fathers have with their children and the children with them.

To me it promotes a slanted view that all fathers have no emotional feelings when it comes to their children and all woman do which imo is a farce.

imoo

I think when people divorce one of them feels lost without the homelife; the family unit. One gets the kids and the everyday life, the other gets visitation, which is not the same as living together and having that atmosphere of daily family life.

When visitation occurs, the spouse who left the home has a couple of days with the children, but it's not the normal family environment. I believe they don't know what to do with the kids, even though they love them and want to see them. It's just not the same.

I see fathers out with their children, spending money and trying to have a good time. It's not the same as just being at home, with the mom making dinner, dad watching TV and all interacting as a family. I feel sorry for them. imo

[GentleBreeze]

Originally Posted by Joan Weiss

I think when people divorce one of them feels lost without the homelife; the family unit. One gets the kids and the everyday life, the other gets visitation, which is not the same as living together and having that atmosphere of daily family life.

When visitation occurs, the spouse who left the home has a couple of days with the children, but it's not the normal family environment. I believe they don't know what to do with the kids, even though they love them and want to see them. It's just not the same.

I see fathers out with their children, spending money and trying to have a good time. It's not the same as just being at home, with the mom making dinner, dad watching TV and all interacting as a family. I feel sorry for them. imo

Most of the fathers that I know that are in the situation of becoming a part time dad do extremely well with the children. Yes, they engage them in outside fun activities, I would hope that the mother does the same at least on occasion but these fathers also cook, interact and take care of their needs while they are in the home with them.

I know my husband's two children cried every time he had to return them to their mother and it wrenched his guts out when they begged to stay with him and he couldn't let them because he could only be their part time daddy now after always raising them and being there for them everyday of their lives. To this day they are much closer to him than to their mother.

A father is just as important to a child as their mother. They each are vital to the overall wellbeing of the children. One parent does not outweigh the other imo even though at times we mothers like to think we are loved more by our children and needed more.

imoo

Originally Posted by GentleBreeze

Most of the fathers that I know that are in the situation of becoming a part time dad do extremely well with the children. Yes, they engage them in outside fun activities, I would hope that the mother does the same at least on occasion but these fathers also cook, interact and take care of their needs while they are in the home with them.

I know my husband's two children cried every time he had to return them to their mother and it wrenched his guts out when they begged to stay with him and he couldn't let them because he could only be their part time daddy now after always raising them and being there for them everyday of their lives. To this day they are much closer to him than to their mother.

A father is just as important to a child as their mother. They each are vital to the overall wellbeing of the children. One parent does not outweigh the other imo even though at times we mothers like to think we are loved more by our children and needed more.

imoo

I didn't say anything about one being more important than the other. I was talking about why this guy possibly killed his kids and himself.

"most of the fathers that I know..." hard to believe you live in that much of a different world than I do. I make contact with lots of people on a daily basis. Another planet maybe?

[airportwoman]

Originally Posted by Joan Weiss

I see fathers out with their children, spending money and trying to have a good time. It's not the same as just being at home, with the mom making dinner, dad watching TV and all interacting as a family. I feel sorry for them. imo

When you see a man out with his kids, can you automatically tell if they're a divorced father who feels guilty, so he buys the kids everything they ask for? Maybe he's just picking something up at the store that the family needs, or a sibling's birthday gift, or whatever.

[Heidi J.]

Originally Posted by airportwoman

When you see a man out with his kids, can you automatically tell if they're a divorced father who feels guilty, so he buys the kids everything they ask for? Maybe he's just picking something up at the store that the family needs, or a sibling's birthday gift, or whatever.

My hubby spoils our son. He does it because he didn't have much growing up. Drives me crazy though!!

Originally Posted by airportwoman

When you see a man out with his kids, can you automatically tell if they're a divorced father who feels guilty, so he buys the kids everything they ask for? Maybe he's just picking something up at the store that the family needs, or a sibling's birthday gift, or whatever.

I'm not in a setting like that.

I didn't say they "feel guilty." You did.

[GentleBreeze]

Originally Posted by airportwoman

When you see a man out with his kids, can you automatically tell if they're a divorced father who feels guilty, so he buys the kids everything they ask for? Maybe he's just picking something up at the store that the family needs, or a sibling's birthday gift, or whatever.

I am not sure how you can just look at someone and tell if they are a divorced father or a father who is currently married and raising their children.

My son often takes both of his children shopping with him. In fact they have one son and one daughter and they both take each one shopping individually at times to have some bonding time with each child. More or less their special one on one time with only one of their parents. Usually when that happens the other one will do something together with the other child.

As our children were growing up if my hubby had to go shopping for any reason he asked them did they want to go.....99% of the time they said "yes". And yes, they usually brought something back that he had bought them when they were out.

imoo