This is very true. My daughter adopted the Emo "style" around the 6th/7th grade because every single one of her friends did almost as soon as they went to middle school. She was following the crowd. We had lots of conversations about it as I was skeptical. It was more about hair and clothing. However emo means "emotional" from what I understand is really also associated with kids that sometimes become dark/brooding and cut. For my daughter she started getting too into the Emo thing and wanting to adopt that behavior of being depressed/misunderstood and acting like the weight of the world was on her shoulders b/c we asked her to take the trash out. Her friends were starting to get way too into the behavior/attitude of being depressed, dark and several of them were cutting. My daughter also cut off the open lines of communication with us and began getting into very dark music. She began to tune us out when we tried to talk to her. When her father and I realized we were on a slippery slope we actually pulled her out of school and unplugged her from everything . Myspace, facebook, cell phone, ipod deleted. We took it all. We basically deleted everything from her life including all her friends. Friends were told not to call the house again and they were completely deleted from her life. All music erased. Everything was gone. We got rid of all her dark clothes and homeschooled her for a year. It was extreme but for us it worked. She had to detox out of that but when she returned to school ( a different one) she was able to make a different set of friends who were not into cutting etc. For my daughter it was not stemming from internal issues so much as her being a follower. We made it very clear to her that attending school is not a right, it's a privilige. In our family you only attend an actual brick an mortar school if you can handle it. If we find you aren't strong enough to rise above, then you don't get to go. You can be homeschooled or go to an online school. That was the year we laid down the law and in fact her father told her he would take anything that appeared "dark" so serious that he would send her to a psychiatric hospital. So a lot of the stuff that kids do for shock value or to just try it as a fashion statement...our kids can't do it. If it looks like they are going down the wrong path then they just don't get to attend school. My kids like going to school and hanging out with friends so they have to be careful to choose them wisely or they know we will have them removed from school. My oldest was able to learn that firsthand but the others know it from her serving as the example. By the way, we are divorced but we present a united front for parental decisions . I was grateful for this because it really drove the point home that wherever you go, mom and dad are watching and even if other kids get to be dark and brooding, here we take that as a sign of mental instability. So if you don't want dad throwing you in a strait jacket then you better pick another fashion statement to make! lol...
You and your ex sound like wonderful parents, coffee! You did just the right thing and you provided an united front. No wonder it all worked out so well. Good for you.
Hybrid Mode
