Chaz Bono

[k9friend]

I'm confused.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am quite an open-minded person. Something, however, confuses me about the interview I saw with Chaz Bono. He (formerly She) said that he believes that sexuality is between one's ears and not between one's legs.
Why, then, did s/he need to change what was between her/his legs?
I'm not being crass, I just find this to be confusing.

[BoredMember]

I think it would be very confusing to be a man in every thing but genitalia. Chaz has been clear that he always has felt he was a boy or a man. He never connected mentally or emotionally with his physical gender.

But I wasn't aware that he has changed anything between his legs - I thought he had a masectomy but wasn't creating new parts yet.

[k9friend]

I think it would be very confusing to be a man in every thing but genitalia. Chaz has been clear that he always has felt he was a boy or a man. He never connected mentally or emotionally with his physical gender.

But I wasn't aware that he has changed anything between his legs - I thought he had a masectomy but wasn't creating new parts yet.

I understand that would be quite a confusing spot in which to be. I'm grateful I've not had to experience such a thing.
Like I said, I'm just confused about the wording. The situation. I don't know. It's confusing. I don't believe that Chaz has had anything done in that area yet, but from what I understood, it is going to eventually be the whole package.
It's a confusing phenomenon as it almost seems contradictory.
For instance, my roommate (for lack of a better thing to call him) knows someone (oddly enough, also named Chaz) who has gone through the change from female to male. Was lesbian before the change and has maintained the same girlfriend through the change. So, my roommate says, are they both straight now?
Confusing.

[February]

I'm sure it's confusing for Cher as a mother also.
If you think about it, Chastity relates her sexuality to the masculine side and her brother Elijah Blue used to perform in dresses.
I am not being crude or insensitive but as a mother I can relate to what Cher might be experiencing. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world.

[tiptop]

Yes k9, it can be confusing.

I think I understand what Chaz was saying about sexuality being between one's ears. Its not really about who you have sex with, its about who you want to have sex with. Who and what fuels your fantasies. For example, some lesbians marry men and spend their whole lives pretending. They may have sex with their husband but in their head they want to be with a woman. But for whatever reason they chose to live the straight life. Some do it for the security. Some gay men do the same thing.

In reference to your roommate's question, I think it depends on how the couple thought of each other before the sex change. If the gf related to the masculine side of him even when he was physically a woman, then I would say she (the gf) is straight. Love is love and anyone can fall. Did the gf know right from the beginning of the relationship that he/she wanted to be a man? And if she/he always thought of himself as a man (even when physically a woman) then I think he is straight too because he wanted to be with a woman.

I use "he/she" to make thing easier to understand.....

[disneyfreak]

I'm sure it's confusing for Cher as a mother also.
If you think about it, Chastity relates her sexuality to the masculine side and her brother Elijah Blue used to perform in dresses.
I am not being crude or insensitive but as a mother I can relate to what Cher might be experiencing. Motherhood is the hardest job in the world.

Have a family member who is transgendered Male-to-Female. Her siblings were not shocked at all, especially her closest sister. Growing up together, they had known all along that she was really a woman.

When she finally had the surgery she no longer felt her body was fighting against her mental version of herself.

[Abraxas]

Have a family member who is transgendered Male-to-Female. Her siblings were not shocked at all, especially her closest sister. Growing up together, they had known all along that she was really a woman.

When she finally had the surgery she no longer felt her body was fighting against her mental version of herself.

I am happy to hear that it turned out so well for your family member. I couldn't agree with you more about how a person can feel that their body is fighting against their mental version of themselves. I have watched shows covering this subject and realize this condition is very real and causes suffering for those who feel trapped in a gender that they do not feel is their real gender. I am fortunate to have been born as the gender that I feel.

[sofiesmom]

For some reason, I'm less confused about male-to-female than I am female-to-male. Maybe in part because I am female (and it's not such a bad thing). But maybe in a bigger part because, at a very young age, I was exposed to the male-to-female thing: In second grade, there was this boywho I sensed was a little bit different from the other kids. I don't know exactly what it was personality-wise, but I just knew. Well, after summer break, he came back to seventh grade as a Marilyn Monroe look alike. He had the platinum hair...everything. He was obsessed with everything Marilyn. He got a lot of attention from those of us who had been his friend in previous years of advanced placement classes. He was very intelligent. Fast forward to 11th grade: He had been home schooled for a few years, so we, the other students had no idea what had been going on in his life. Well, he came back to high school as a total girl. A full fledged pre-op transvestite. The school officials didn't really know what to do with him...especially with the bathroom situation. They appointed me to be her guardian. It was great. She always brought the latest Vogue mags and others. The only way you could tell that she wasn't really a "she" was by the slight stubble under her make-up. She went on to become a VERY successful model. She was my friend and mentor in all things "girlish". So, I get the trans-gender thing, but what I guess I don't get is how Bono's girlfriend is so supportive of him changing to a male when they had a lesbian relationship in the first place. Would Bono's girlfried now become straight? Maybe they (or we) are all just gernderless souls. But if that's the case, then why switch genders?

It is way confusing.

[Lavinya]

When I was much younger, I dated a guy that was a psychiatrist for a gender reassignment medical facility at UTMB. He told some very sad stories of people who felt quite tortured in their "born bodies". This was way back in 1977 or so and gender reassignment was in its infancy.
We lived in Galveston and a lot of the people who were seeking services from the clinic moved there to be closer during their therapy and series of surgeries. (They had to go through prolonged, intensive therapy, at *least* a year IIRC, to see if gender reassignment was truly appropriate for them and to prepare them for the changes) I have to say, the general public treated them absolutely horrible.

I can't imagine what it must feel like, but I hope that Chaz gets the peace he seeks.

[withay]

I have a friend whose daughter announced that she was a boy shortly after she began to talk...somewhere between her 2nd and third birthday. She only stopped when she got old enough for the other kids to tease her about it. It is still somewhat unresolved. But watching her grow has made me believe that sexual orientation and gender are not something that someone "chooses". I pray for her every day because I have no doubts that her life will not be easy.

[k9friend]

In my early twenties (ahem, now decades away), I had a roommate who was a male looking forward to the change to female. He was gay. But he was also disgusted by everything about himself as male. He would say, "I can't wait to get this s***t cut off". Seriously. And he would dress female and myself and the other roommate (a bi woman) were all okay with it. We supported him in his "her-ness" - in being who he felt he needed to be.
I got to see him years later - about a decade ago. He was mostly through the change at that point - had breasts (larger than mine!) and had been undergoing the hormone treatments that she said really was a somewhat painful experience. I still felt the same way about this person - despite of gender. Of course, to me, he was still "Curtis", in all his splendor. But he was his woman self, in all her splendor.
Don't know what I'm trying to say here. But maybe we really are genderles souls. And maybe that's okay. Even if it is confusing.
Anyway, isn't life itself confusing?

[Abraxas]

In my early twenties (ahem, now decades away), I had a roommate who was a male looking forward to the change to female. He was gay. But he was also disgusted by everything about himself as male. He would say, "I can't wait to get this s***t cut off". Seriously. And he would dress female and myself and the other roommate (a bi woman) were all okay with it. We supported him in his "her-ness" - in being who he felt he needed to be.
I got to see him years later - about a decade ago. He was mostly through the change at that point - had breasts (larger than mine!) and had been undergoing the hormone treatments that she said really was a somewhat painful experience. I still felt the same way about this person - despite of gender. Of course, to me, he was still "Curtis", in all his splendor. But he was his woman self, in all her splendor.
Don't know what I'm trying to say here. But maybe we really are genderles souls. And maybe that's okay. Even if it is confusing.
Anyway, isn't life itself confusing?

Excellent Post K9. I couldn't agree more.