Oliver...Oct. 26,2001-Aug. 19,2009

[sofiesmom]

I had to say goodbye to my baby today. I had posted not long ago about the mass that was growing inside of him. We were so happy that the biopsy didn't show cancer...semi-blindly happy and maybe too optimistic.

Earlier today, I was composing a post in my head to desperately ask for prayers for Oliver. He had an appointment at a surgeon to hopefully reduce the mass. I just wanted him to hang on until then.

(I'm going to have to do this in parts because my computer keeps shutting down before I can finish)

[sofiesmom]

In the past few days, the mass has grown very quickly. You could see it trying to poke through his hind end. He couldn't poop even with the strong laxative he was taking. Just sometimes a little blood would come out. The mass was putting pressure on his spine and walking became increasingly difficult.

[Noahs ARK]

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about Oliver. :crying:

RIP Oliver.....:rose:

[sofiesmom]

It happened so fast. We had been to the vet four times in the past two weeks. She didn't tell us what to do but wasn't surprised to see us today. She was supportive of our decision. Even if an operation could have relieved some of the pressure, it still might have been cancer and the biopsy just didn't contain cancer cells. He would have had to have the mass shaved continuously as it grew. We would have done that I guess IF it wasn't too traumatic or painful for him.

[Noahs ARK]

You absolutely did the right thing. Take comfort in knowing that you didn't allow Oliver to suffer. :rose:

[sofiesmom]

What happened today is that I heard him stumble from another room. After that, he couldn't put any weight on one of his back legs. I was franticbecause of the way he started running around on his three legs. He was so upset. I called my husband. I don't know why, but I did. He came home. I kept asking what we were going to do. He said, "Linda, he's dying! You know that." He was crying, too. Right then, we decided. I know Ollie couldn't wait. That mass was so close to rupturing. If that had happened, it would have been unbearable.

[withay]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been where you are...just 4 short months ago I lost my sweet Lucy. I also had to make the hardest decision we ever have to make. But we know it is also the best for our dear loving friends. They are no longer in pain and can run and jump as they did in their healthier days. I hope Lucy was there to greet Oliver at The Bridge...she is very friendly and would show him around.

[sofiesmom]

It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but not the hardest decision to make. Does that make sense? I think I's been preparing myself sort of subconsciously for awhile.

We took seperate cars to the vet. Oliver rode with his Dad. I think I wanted it that way so that my crying wouldn't uset Ollie. I was in really rough shape. But after the first sedating shot, we laid down on the blanket with Oliver and snuggled and talked and rubbed his nose just the way he likes it. I left for the very last part. He was already all the way asleep. When I got home, I felt strangely calm.

[sofiesmom]

I stayed calm all the rest of the day. It's like there's something wrong with me. I really haven't felt anything all day until I started posting. It hasn't really sunk in yet, I guess. But when I looked in the refrigerator a few minutes ago, I saw the last ground turkey I cooked for him. That brought on the tears.

Anyway, my name here is sofiesmom, but I will also always be Oliversmom, too.

Thank you Noah's Ark and withay. I'm sure Ollie would appreciate Lucy's friendship.

[5boxersmom]

I am sorry. :rose:

[warhorse46]

I stayed calm all the rest of the day. It's like there's something wrong with me. I really haven't felt anything all day until I started posting. It hasn't really sunk in yet, I guess. But when I looked in the refrigerator a few minutes ago, I saw the last ground turkey I cooked for him. That brought on the tears.

Anyway, my name here is sofiesmom, but I will also always be Oliversmom, too.

Thank you Noah's Ark and withay. I'm sure Ollie would appreciate Lucy's friendship.




I am so sorry you lost Ollie today but rest assured you did the right & humane thing for him.

http://www.spiritisup.com/losspet.html

[daniel green]

Oh, this is so sad to read. I know Oliver knew you would help him and do the right thing.

I know you must be devestated.

You take good care. Good thoughts your way.

[Spyder88]

God bless your poor, broken heart, Oliversmom. I'm so sorry.

You know you did the right thing by him and for him. He's home, he's happy, he's safe, sound and all healed up. :rose:

[sofiesmom]

The place that was going to do his surgery just called to confirm the appt. I didn't answer because I was afraid they were going to say they could see him today instead of Monday. It would have been too much to think that if he could have hung on a few more hours, there was a chance that a surgery today might have given him more happy times. I ned to quit the second guessing. But now I can't.

Last night, I had a dream that he was by the bed. I thought, "This can't be." But then I touched him, and I could feel him there. Then I thought, "Oh, this is real. The bad stuff was the dream." I was so disappointed when I realized my groggy thoughts were wrong.

Now everything I do is like this is the first time I;ve done this without Oliver here. I'm not numb anymore. The state of shock is easier.

[warhorse46]

The place that was going to do his surgery just called to confirm the appt. I didn't answer because I was afraid they were going to say they could see him today instead of Monday. It would have been too much to think that if he could have hung on a few more hours, there was a chance that a surgery today might have given him more happy times. I ned to quit the second guessing. But now I can't.

Last night, I had a dream that he was by the bed. I thought, "This can't be." But then I touched him, and I could feel him there. Then I thought, "Oh, this is real. The bad stuff was the dream." I was so disappointed when I realized my groggy thoughts were wrong.

Now everything I do is like this is the first time I;ve done this without Oliver here. I'm not numb anymore. The state of shock is easier.


Oliver was by your bed last night!



I stood by your bed last night

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep. I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.

I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear, "It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."

I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea, You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.

I was with you at the shops today, Your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.

I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you, that I'm not lying there.

I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said "it's me."

You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was standing there.

It's possible for me to be so near you everyday.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."

You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew, in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.

The day is over... I smile and watch you yawning and say "good-night, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."

And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we'll stand, side by side.

I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out ... then come home to be with me.
Unknown
http://ghoststudy.com/new6/new/grave.htm

[incidentally]

I am so sorry sophiesmom. I lost my very best friend, my dog, on May 21st.

If it wasn't for one very special person here, who was there for me by pm and email on the day he died, I don't know what I would have done. I was so distraught, I couldn't even talk to people in real life.

It took me several days before I was able to post about it here at IS and the understanding, support, the outpouring of concern and love, was nothing short of amazing.

We are here for you.

tally

[StickyBeak]

Dear OliversMom,

I know how your heart feels broken right now, you did the right thing for Oliver. I am crying for you all, so hard to lose your best friend.
I still sometimes feel my Sabrina jump on my bed at night, it startles me
then I think I must have dreamnt about her, I know she is in a better place, not suffering. The hardest decision but done only by a loving heart.
Hugs, SB.

[Noahs ARK]

The place that was going to do his surgery just called to confirm the appt. I didn't answer because I was afraid they were going to say they could see him today instead of Monday. It would have been too much to think that if he could have hung on a few more hours, there was a chance that a surgery today might have given him more happy times. I ned to quit the second guessing. But now I can't.

Last night, I had a dream that he was by the bed. I thought, "This can't be." But then I touched him, and I could feel him there. Then I thought, "Oh, this is real. The bad stuff was the dream." I was so disappointed when I realized my groggy thoughts were wrong.

I think it's perfectly normal to second guess yourself. I've done it with several of my pets that crossed over to The Bridge. I've played the "what if" game too many times to count.

But the bottom line was that I knew I had done the right thing by stopping them from suffering.

I believe that Oliver was by your bed last night.

For you and Oliver! :wub:

[sunstar]

Rest in Peace Oliver :rose: :wub:

[beespence]

I am so sorry for your loss...like many others on this board I too lost my beloved Maddie:rose: two months ago....I miss her everyday....you made the right decision....when Maddie first fell ill ...I cried how she was my best friend....and a friend told me...if she is truly your best friend you will show her that and let her go when the time comes....as awful as that moment is...you showed Oliver...that he truly is your best friend.

RIP Oliver:rose:

[Postergeist]

:rose: for you and your husband

so sorry for the loss of your Oliver



(these type of threads are always hard for me to read and I don't always post on them, because I'll tear up and can't see to type. It always makes me think of all my sweet fur babies that have crossed over.)

:crying:

[drip~drop1]

The place that was going to do his surgery just called to confirm the appt. I didn't answer because I was afraid they were going to say they could see him today instead of Monday. It would have been too much to think that if he could have hung on a few more hours, there was a chance that a surgery today might have given him more happy times. I ned to quit the second guessing. But now I can't.

Last night, I had a dream that he was by the bed. I thought, "This can't be." But then I touched him, and I could feel him there. Then I thought, "Oh, this is real. The bad stuff was the dream." I was so disappointed when I realized my groggy thoughts were wrong.

Now everything I do is like this is the first time I;ve done this without Oliver here. I'm not numb anymore. The state of shock is easier.

I am so so sorry. :crying: my heart hurts for you. i hope your Ollie has met my precious baby Boo, he's 4 months at the bridge. :crying:
i wish i could say it gets easier, but we love them enough to not let them suffer....

[sofiesmom]

Oliver was by your bed last night!

<snipped>

http://ghoststudy.com/new6/new/grave.htmWow! Thanks, warhorse. It was very real, and I hadn't taken any melatonin (it makes me have virtual reality dreams sometimes). Thank you for the other link, too. It's beautiful.

tally, I can't talk to people in real life yet, either.


Postie, I have a hard time reading these threads, too. There have been days when I just have to avoid them. But I always come back when I'm feeling stronger. I'm glad you didn't skip over us.

Thank you everyone for being here. Your words of kindness and support and your tellings of your own experiences mean so much.

[angellaw]

I'm so sorry for you sofiesmom..I know how it feels. My Moonshine died 7/25/09 and I'm not really ready to talk either. They are such a part of our lives...our little furbabies..God Bless them all.

RIP Ollie :rose: :rose: :rose:

[Mandymax]

I am so sorry. :-( Those "first time without . . . " times are so incredibly painful. But you do get through, and soon enough, you'll be able to think of him and the fun times and laugh.

Four years ago, I held my Molly while the vet administered the final shots that would take her pain away and bring her peace. I had raised her from an eight-week-old pup I'd plucked out of the litter at the animal shelter, and she lived to be ten and a half years old. She was sick for the last year of her life, and the very last week was just brutal. Strangely enough, I realized there was nowhere else in the world I would rather have been at that moment, and I felt so incredibly lucky and blessed to be able to be there as she passed away. I still feel that way. It was a very surprising realization. I had her cremated by herself, and I still have her ashes. I can't let go of them yet.

Everything I went through with Molly doesn't make it easier to contemplate the possible loss of my Bear now, but it helps.

You're in my thoughts. I'm sure Molly greeted Oliver with a rousing series of welcoming barks!

[True2Blues]

I'm so sorry for your loss.
:rose: Oliver

[coffee1950j]

:rose::rose:

So sorry for your loss.

RIP Oliver

[mafitz701]

I stayed calm all the rest of the day. It's like there's something wrong with me. I really haven't felt anything all day until I started posting. It hasn't really sunk in yet, I guess. But when I looked in the refrigerator a few minutes ago, I saw the last ground turkey I cooked for him. That brought on the tears.

Anyway, my name here is sofiesmom, but I will also always be Oliversmom, too.

Thank you Noah's Ark and withay. I'm sure Ollie would appreciate Lucy's friendship.

Sofie I am so sorry. I am really sorry. I wish I could take your grief away. I wish Ollie could have come through this. I am so sorry. I can assure that Ollie is in peace. Boscoe, Sam, Hoover, and Peanut were waiting for him at the rainbow bridge. He will never be alone and he will never leave you.

[sofiesmom]

Thanks again everybody. I'm sorry for all your losses too, but in my selfish grief, it really is helping to hear others who have experienced this and are at peace now and have come through with a healthy perspective.

I'm going to make some changes in my life to try to be a better person as a tribute to Oliver (and as insurance to make sure I'll see him again). Some of my last words to him were, "I'll see you soon", and I have to live up to that promise.

I've saved this thread as a memorial, and so that I can return to it whenever I need strength from your understanding, kindness, and wise words.

[Thurs-Child]

The Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, sunshine and toys, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. Those who were abused or mal-treated have had their tears wiped away, and sit for as long as they want on the Golden Flowing Robes of God's Lap. They feel the touch of Pure Love on their heads and finally know happiness. All the animals are happy and content, except for one small thing - they each miss someone very special, someone who was left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent and her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly, she breaks from the group, flying over the green grass, faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into those trusting eyes, so long gone from your life, but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together. . :rose:

[Mandymax]

Thanks again everybody. I'm sorry for all your losses too, but in my selfish grief, it really is helping to hear others who have experienced this and are at peace now and have come through with a healthy perspective.

I'm going to make some changes in my life to try to be a better person as a tribute to Oliver (and as insurance to make sure I'll see him again). Some of my last words to him were, "I'll see you soon", and I have to live up to that promise.

I've saved this thread as a memorial, and so that I can return to it whenever I need strength from your understanding, kindness, and wise words.

I've read that when we ourselves ultimately pass on, our loved ones on the other side have to fight their way through all our departed pets to greet and welcome us, because all the pets make sure THEY get to us first! :-)

You will see Oliver again. That's a guarantee.

[incidentally]

Wanted to stop by here and see how you are doing sophiesmom.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

tally

[Spyder88]

Wanted to stop by here and see how you are doing sophiesmom.

You're in my thoughts and prayers.

tally

You and sophiesmom are in my prayers, too, tally. :rose:

[sofiesmom]

I've read that when we ourselves ultimately pass on, our loved ones on the other side have to fight their way through all our departed pets to greet and welcome us, because all the pets make sure THEY get to us first! :-)

You will see Oliver again. That's a guarantee.That mental picture makes me giggle. Oliver is so mild mannerd, but I can see him trying to get to me first,

[kitty1182]

I am so sorry, but you did the right thing..He is now running and playing again..He will love my Sarge and Molly...

[sofiesmom]

I am so sorry, but you did the right thing..He is now running and playing again..He will love my Sarge and Molly...That's how I try to picture him. It's been a week and a day, and I'm still so sad. I haven't been able to post on this thread for a few days (I thought I was banned from Ollie's thread, but I think it might have been my infected computer's fault). I keep seeing fleeting rainbows, even though there's been no rain lately. I'll betcha there's a club for the IS folk's animals who have gone on, and that they've formed a welcoming committee. Like "You're kitty's , you're mafitz's, you're tally's. Hey, Molly. Hello, Boo.... I know about you guys. My mom likes your parents, so I know you're OK".

[Mandymax]

That's how I try to picture him. It's been a week and a day, and I'm still so sad. I haven't been able to post on this thread for a few days (I thought I was banned from Ollie's thread, but I think it might have been my infected computer's fault). I keep seeing fleeting rainbows, even though there's been no rain lately. I'll betcha there's a club for the IS folk's animals who have gone on, and that they've formed a welcoming committee. Like "You're kitty's , you're mafitz's, you're tally's. Hey, Molly. Hello, Boo.... I know about you guys. My mom likes your parents, so I know you're OK".


Regarding your rainbows - a few weeks after my Molly died, I was lying in bed and wished for a sign that she was okay wherever she was. Just then, the clock-radio on my nightstand - which was turned off - crackled, and I heard a dog barking through the speaker, just for a few seconds. Molly was a beagle/border collie mix and a HUGE barker. The bark on the radio sounded kind of far away, and I knew it was her. :-)

Things happen.

[mafitz701]

The love of an animal is the only love that truelly stays innocent and pure. I think that is why it is so hard on us when we lose them, and impossible for us not to get attached to them regardless of how they come to us.

To this day I can name every single dog and cat we took in. And while the diseases that took them become blended into a blur they are always singular in the memories they leave behind, and its for a very good reason. Nothing can bring out humanity more than a dog or cat that for fate's reason comes to our door.

Beta boy reminded me of that today. Beta is a man's dog. He is my husband's dog. He is as much a gentleman as a boxer can be, well trained, and from the moment we took him in, we believed in him, but what set him apart from the other dogs and cats we took in was that Beta just needed someone to care about him. He had no real issues.

Well 2 years down a long and winding road of legal battles and false accusations, we never could quit on Beta boy. Beta was accused of biting someone within weeks after we took him in as a stray. We KNEW he was innocent but it was only because we had witnessed just how docile and laid back this dog was. So we fought for him, and we fought hard.

Anyway, all that is water under the bridge (thank god for property insurance and lawyers to that degree). And today Beta showed why things like that are water under the bridge. Today Beta met a very old man, and this man had always had Pugs. He had severe parkinson's disease, so he shook really badly, but he wanted to walk Beta around the yard and just show his dog knowledge.

Normally (with me) Beta boy is pushy and eager to get to that walk. He has to sniff at everything, and rush to find the next smell spot. Beta is not "other" dog friendly at all, he has to show his stuff, outchase them, outsmell them etc..

But today, Beta let this elderly man take his lead, and walk him. He didn't pull while the black lab barked and ran along the fenceline, he didn't even bark in anticipation. It was like he knew right away, just what this elderly gentleman needed and he just gave it to him, for no other reason than that this man needed Beta to show him that he still means something.

Beta got a pat on the head for touching this man the way he had, but what he gave this man was priceless. He showed him in that simple walk that he still means something to this world, and that he most certainly is still a dog man. Beta gave him a huge smile and I know he made his day. But what touched me is that he did it because for him it was just right to do.

It is why we fall so deeply in love with these wonderful creatures.