Too much attention to cat harmful?

[Debb]

I know there are many people who post here who seem to know a lot about pets, especially cats. Any comment would be appreciated. I have tried to google this but couldn't find anything.

A few months ago I posted a thread seeking help for my cousin's cat who would use the litter box most of the time, but would also spray the walls and poop in the floor a lot too. I got a lot of good ideas on causes and finially concluded that the cat was possibly feral when it was younger. Not sure if that is causing the litter problem.

Anyway, this past weekend I spent time in their home. I saw first hand how she treats the cat. She is constantly talking to the cat. She has to have the cat in her field of vision at all times. If the cat walks into the kitchen, she calls out and asks what the cat is doing. I asked my cousin if she talks to the cat that way all the time and she said yes. She talks to her as if she were a human. She is really obsessed that something may happen to cat such as it may get sick or injured. It's rather irrational.

She says the cat awakes her at 3:30 in the morning to be fed. She doesn't mind doing it. She also lets the cat jump and walk on any surface, including kitchen counters and dining table. My cousin is disabled, so she is home all day. Despite all the attention to the cat, it is not affectionate to her. My cousin says that the cat normally sleeps on a pillow beside her head. The night I stayed the cat sleep by me and it did not wake her up at 3:30 to be fed.

I gave the cat very little attention. I also prevented it from getting back on the counters after I cleaned them for food prep. When I walk across the room, the cat gets out of the way. With her, it doesn't and she almost trips.

Could the over abundance of attention create stress in the cat to the point that it is acting out by not using its litter box? There has been no other upset or problem in the home that could have caused it. Just curious. Can too much attention be harmful? I know it sounds silly, but still.....

[R~O~S]

Are you asking if the cat is running the house rather than the human?

If so, I'd say yes.

Cats aren't exactly the same as dogs, but they do know how to take advantage if allowed & they're trainable.

My cats wouldn't even dream of getting up on my table or counter regardless of whether it had just been cleaned or not.

Sounds like kitty doesn't need to find the litter box because there are no consequences for not using it.

Again, cats are not dogs, but dogs who get it in their head that they're in charge, don't have respect for the humans in the pack. Cats are pack animals to an extent, look at the feral communities they set up. Obviously they have some social ranking, otherwise there'd be bedlam in the community all the time with fighting and posturing for position.

I think, your friend isn't the leader of the community.

There's nothing wrong with talking to the cat, I talk to my animals all the time. They often talk back, they vocalize to me, both cats and dog. But, make use of the talk, they know when they've made me unhappy by the tone of my voice.

I'd be tossing that cat into the litter box with a stern "that's where you do that" every time. Of course timing is everything, it does no good and the cat won't understand if it's not in the same time frame as the inappropriate behavior.

I type this with one large dog curled up on his bed beside me & one cat snuggled to the right side of the chair laying over my right leg and the other snuggled to the left side of the chair laying over the left leg. My babies are happier with an ordered house and knowing they don't have to make the decisions of leading the pack.

[BobbysGirl]

Hi Debb, Long hot, busy summer here.

We have 3 indoor cats. Spayed and neuter. 1-3 yrs old. We love and give attention to them. They have no litter box problems. We do spoil them but allow them their space. Their sleep, play and yoga time.
I found one site. Hope it works.

http://www.cathealth.com/inappropoBehav.html

Is the cat spayed or neutered? Feral? Age? Indoor/Outdoor?

Wonderful animals they are. A suggestion, you may look on google. What causes stress in cats/kittens.

BG

[BobbysGirl]

Sorry, I tried. Not good w/links.

:(

BG

[R~O~S]

Sorry, I tried. Not good w/links.

:(

BG

give me the title of the article, the exact title, I'll find it and link it.

[Debb]

Sorry, I tried. Not good w/links.

:(

BG


Thanks. I found the link and a couple more on the cats healthboard. I did get some ideas. Many of the possible reasons have already been explored, however, I'm going to see if she uses litter with soda. They say that can cause a noise when wet that bothers the cat. I will also mention medication. If it is anxiety, they say ask the vet about an anti anxiety medication. I know this may be controversial, however, she MUST do something. Her house is being damaged.

Oh, BobbysGirl. The cat is app. 3 years old, spayed. She was found in a field with her litter of kittens. (Possibly feral before then.) The adoption agency nursed her back to health and placed her in a foster home where she was inside only. No one reported this litter problem when she adopted the cat about a year ago. The cat used the litter box just fine for 2 weeks then started with the spraying and pooping. It is an only pet in the home and there are no outdoor pets that would be bothering her. There are no children either. We have purchased every toy you can think of and tried to engage her in activity. She has little interest in anything except for a laser light.

It's quite odd, so any suggestions are appreciated.

I'm with R O S. I think some rules for the house would be helpful, but she won't do that. I just think that I would be stressed out if someone was constantly talking to me and following my every move, but maybe cats don't think that way. LOL.
Honestly, she doesn't act like a happy cat. My cousin had a cat before this one that died and that cat was very happy. I just can't put my finger on it.

[BobbysGirl]

give me the title of the article, the exact title, I'll find it and link it.

I did not save article. But, went back and researched. Main link is CatHealth.com. In side bar, click on inappropriate behavior.

BG

[dgfred]

Sounds like a pure feral cat, that has been forced to adapt to a home.
Cats naturally will use the litter box, unless they are 'pissed' about something... but no telling what it is (probably just being inside all the time now).
For instance I have a 1 yr old cat that stays inside, but was born from a feral male and an inside/outside female. Her favorite thing is to go outside (holding her), her next favorite thing is to sit in the window and watch the outside activities on her own. She used to try to shoot out into the garage/outside when the door was opened, but now I have some kittens in the garage and she absolutely HATES them. She will hiss and growl at the little things and looks like she really wants to 'hunt' them down.
My guess is the cat you speak of will most likely get more comfortable with her surroundings, and quit messing up the house... least I hope so.

[BobbysGirl]

Thanks. I found the link and a couple more on the cats healthboard. I did get some ideas. Many of the possible reasons have already been explored, however, I'm going to see if she uses litter with soda. They say that can cause a noise when wet that bothers the cat. I will also mention medication. If it is anxiety, they say ask the vet about an anti anxiety medication. I know this may be controversial, however, she MUST do something. Her house is being damaged.

Oh, BobbysGirl. The cat is app. 3 years old, spayed. She was found in a field with her litter of kittens. (Possibly feral before then.) The adoption agency nursed her back to health and placed her in a foster home where she was inside only. No one reported this litter problem when she adopted the cat about a year ago. The cat used the litter box just fine for 2 weeks then started with the spraying and pooping. It is an only pet in the home and there are no outdoor pets that would be bothering her. There are no children either. We have purchased every toy you can think of and tried to engage her in activity. She has little interest in anything except for a laser light.

It's quite odd, so any suggestions are appreciated.

I'm with R O S. I think some rules for the house would be helpful, but she won't do that. I just think that I would be stressed out if someone was constantly talking to me and following my every move, but maybe cats don't think that way. LOL.
Honestly, she doesn't act like a happy cat. My cousin had a cat before this one that died and that cat was very happy. I just can't put my finger on it.

Hi, glad you found link(s). I have heard that spayed and neutered cats will spray. Especially if history is feral.

My Minnie, even tho she is 3+ years is spayed. She was born indoors. Anyhoo, our son brought a 2 week old puppy up to visit. From Louisiana. After they were here 2 days, and left: Within the week Minnie was milking everywhere. Her underbelly was wet and crusted with milk. She wanted (instinct) to nurse. ?

I truly believe the instinct is there to return to their 'wild' state. Survival? It is a mystery. My guess, is to call a vet and ask. Several years ago, I found a site about raising feral cats/animals.

Wish I could help more. Cats are amazing, huh?
I believe from what I heard, they have only been domesticated for 2000 yrs.

TY for posting. Very interesting topic. :)

BG

[Details]

Your friend may be just too needy for one cat - I think she'd love two - is that possible?

Every cat has it's own personality - they can vary quite a bit. Find her a needy lovebug, and they'll both be happy - and the other cat can get it's attention when it wants it.

I don't know that the calls are stressing the cat - but they could be. I kinda doubt it - cats know how to hide when they need to - under the bed, high places, small corners, etc. If the cat was really upset, it would not be visible.

Litter boxes are instinctual for cats - they prefer them, automatically, almost from birth (I've seen this personally in hand raised kittens with no feline mother around) - to not use one means something is up.

[Debb]

Thanks for all the comments. They are VERY helpful. Everything seems to lead back to the feral situation. I'm going to try to find an expert in the area who can do a home visit.
I'll post it if we find the answer. This cat never trys to get out of the house, even if the door is open.

My cousin will never part with the cat. She already said that, however, I'm not sure it is healthy to continue to allow this problem to go on. I have explained to her that the adoption center will take her back. There is a contract that you must call them before parting with the cat. They are a no kill facility and will never put her down unless for medical reasons.

I just think my cousin deserves a loving cat who really gives back to her like her previous cat did. This cat just does not give love IMO. It's all one sided.

Other posters suggested she get a kitten to help out, but she doesn't want a kitten. Says that they are too much trouble.

[BobbysGirl]

I found another link X (crossed fingers).

http://animals.howstuffworks.com/pets/how-to-solve-cat-behavior-problems.htm

BG

[Spyder88]

Thanks for all the comments. They are VERY helpful. Everything seems to lead back to the feral situation. I'm going to try to find an expert in the area who can do a home visit.
I'll post it if we find the answer. This cat never trys to get out of the house, even if the door is open.

My cousin will never part with the cat. She already said that, however, I'm not sure it is healthy to continue to allow this problem to go on. I have explained to her that the adoption center will take her back. There is a contract that you must call them before parting with the cat. They are a no kill facility and will never put her down unless for medical reasons.

I just think my cousin deserves a loving cat who really gives back to her like her previous cat did. This cat just does not give love IMO. It's all one sided.

Other posters suggested she get a kitten to help out, but she doesn't want a kitten. Says that they are too much trouble.

It sounds like the cat, like some people, isn't going to show it's affection easily. It also sounds like your cousin is a very lonely person.

I understand your cousins reluctance about giving up the cat, but your concerns are valid and I agree that this cat may very well do better with more freedom, but maybe she'll come around and be all that your cousin ever wanted. Give the cat more time. Some feral cats can take a lot of time before they warm up to anyone.

I wish you, your cousin and the cat the best of luck. Keep us posted on how things go.

[BobbysGirl]

It sounds like the cat, like some people, isn't going to show it's affection easily. It also sounds like your cousin is a very lonely person.

I understand your cousins reluctance about giving up the cat, but your concerns are valid and I agree that this cat may very well do better with more freedom, but maybe she'll come around and be all that your cousin ever wanted. Give the cat more time. Some feral cats can take a lot of time before they warm up to anyone.

I wish you, your cousin and the cat the best of luck. Keep us posted on how things go.

Hey Spyder, LTNS. I total agree with you. It does take time. I hope cousin and believe cousin will in due time. Debb, is this cousins first cat?

I too agree w/your caring. I hope you can steer cousin to help learn about the new kitty. Good wishes to you, her and new furr baby.

BG

[Debb]

Thanks again. Some good tips in the article. She'll start with another vet check before starting with crate training. I am also searching for a feral cat expert.

My cousin has had pets her entire life. She had her dog for about 10 years. Sweetest dog in the world. Her parents also had her dog's mother and brother. All lived long happy lives. Her family also had several cats over the years. They were usually outdoor cats and the dogs were inside. But the cats were loving and tame.

My cousin lost her mother a couple of years ago and it has been very difficult for her. She does miss her a lot and she is also disabled. She gets out a couple of times per week. The cat she had before this one was a stray given to her by an uncle. It was indoor only with her, but had leukemia when she got it. Sweetess cat in the world but had to be put down due to how sick she got. Vet tried to treat her but she only got worse.

My cousin was so heartbroken over the cat that died that she almost immediately replaced it with this one from a shelter. She fell in love with the way it looked. She thought nobody else would want the cat because of the way it looks. (I think it's cute. White with a black nose.) During the office visit the cat would not go to her at all. It would not let her nor the worker go near her. I was wary then and asked if she was sure she wanted it when there were dozens of other cats in the place purring and begging to be held. She insisted and the rest has been history. It's a real shame.

[Rucky*Ron]

Having loved and been owned by cats for many years, let me say... :biggrin:

First, cats don't get pizzed and pee on something out of spite.

Inappropriate elimination can mean an unclean litter box, but is usually a health issue once housebroken.

Also, an unspayed male tom cat will spray. It is his nature.

Cats, unlike dogs, are pretty self sufficient.

Beyond food, water and health care they are dependent on humans for little.

They can be easily trained to respect boundaries.

They do love their humans and will benefit from lots of love and affection.

There is no such thing as "too much attention" paid to one's companion.

MOO

[Details]

Kittens are not more work - they come litterbox trained, they eat the same food, drink the same water, and will amuse themselves (admittedly, sometimes with your toes), if you don't play with them yourself.

[incidentally]

I still am convinced this cat was/is feral.

Here is one site that may help. Talking to the cat is not a problem but seeking them out to show affection can be.

http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:EYh2RT0mVWMJ:www.theanimalspirit.co m/adopted.doc+indoor+feral+cat+behavior&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

I put it in html format. I only speak from experience.

[R~O~S]

I still am convinced this cat was/is feral.

Here is one site that may help. Talking to the cat is not a problem but seeking them out to show affection can be.

http://74.125.47.132/search?q=cache:EYh2RT0mVWMJ:www.theanimalspirit.co m/adopted.doc+indoor+feral+cat+behavior&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a

I put it in html format. I only speak from experience.

I've had a feral living under my deck for about three years now, if not longer. He'll take food I put out for him, he'll shadow me as I work in the yard, he will not let me get within 6 feet of him.

I don't know what I'll do when/if he shows signs of sickness. I can't catch him, I've tried multiple times. He knows what the traps are, he'd starve before he'd go in there.

[incidentally]

I've had a feral living under my deck for about three years now, if not longer. He'll take food I put out for him, he'll shadow me as I work in the yard, he will not let me get within 6 feet of him.

I don't know what I'll do when/if he shows signs of sickness. I can't catch him, I've tried multiple times. He knows what the traps are, he'd starve before he'd go in there.

I understand ROS, there was a very sad site I chose not to post about feral cats living outdoors and getting sick or hurt.

[Spyder88]

I've had a feral living under my deck for about three years now, if not longer. He'll take food I put out for him, he'll shadow me as I work in the yard, he will not let me get within 6 feet of him.

I don't know what I'll do when/if he shows signs of sickness. I can't catch him, I've tried multiple times. He knows what the traps are, he'd starve before he'd go in there.

Just keep doing what you're doing. You may never get to touch him, but then again, he could break the ice himself and come to you for a back scratch. Mine did that.

If the cousin can accept this behavior I guess what will be will be. I'd encourage her to understand that her kitty may never need or want to be loved by her or anyone for that matter. There ARE kitties who NEED and want to be held and smootched on. Those are the one's I'd encourage her to focus on if possible, but I sure can't say she isn't loyal to her pets and that's commendable.

[Noahs ARK]

I've had a feral living under my deck for about three years now, if not longer.

Is that the cat that *we* had to make emergency housing for during one of your snowstorms? IIRC, you used those silver blankets that you had in your basement from cub/boy scouts?? :tonguewag:

[Details]

I've had a feral living under my deck for about three years now, if not longer. He'll take food I put out for him, he'll shadow me as I work in the yard, he will not let me get within 6 feet of him.

I don't know what I'll do when/if he shows signs of sickness. I can't catch him, I've tried multiple times. He knows what the traps are, he'd starve before he'd go in there.Might never work - but persistence is a key. Put food out - and sit in eyesight - a long distance, but visible. Do that for a week, then start moving a little closer each day. Don't do it fast. Once he's comfortable eating with you out of arms reach, I'd put his food down, then sit down with something better closer to you - wet food, treats, etc. Just give him time.

And remember - eye contact is hostile. When you look at a cat for more than a very short time, it's considered a challenge, a way to assert dominance, a possible threat. Don't watch him eat, just be there. When you look at him, if he meets your eyes, give a slow blink - then look away - that's a feline flirt - it really does work to let them know you are friendly.

[VC2]

I've had a feral living under my deck for about three years now, if not longer. He'll take food I put out for him, he'll shadow me as I work in the yard, he will not let me get within 6 feet of him.

I don't know what I'll do when/if he shows signs of sickness. I can't catch him, I've tried multiple times. He knows what the traps are, he'd starve before he'd go in there.

ROS just keep working with him, but IF he gets sick or injuried your probably will be able to get close to him. PM if that happens, 7 of my 9 kitties were ferals who came in my cat door either starving, just for food when i slept, or sick. One was a dump because of FIV and the other was so bad that he attacked any human on sight viciously, drooling like he had rabies while he tried to get your eyes. With him i had no choice but to get him neutered and keep him...took a year before he stopped attacking me but for the last 6 years he spends winters snuggled in my arms at night. Summer he is like the old retired guy with an RV he now makes rounds in the neighborhood visiting others, staying there or here and of course outside. Funnily enough the same ppl who wanted him caught and put down want to adopt him now..i always say great but of course he doesn't stay..a free soul lol. I ended up getting more than 8 spayed and/or neutered, have lost some who arrived to ill or those who got killed ..but the ones who stay with me all turn into wonderful loving cats. Can take a few years and each need their own time to do so. Most of them made their own choice to live here, the door is always open for them to come or go.

One hting in winter is to build a "warm box" for the ferals who need or want help, mine is near the screen door with a heat lamp and always has food in it, they often then decide that its ok to let you feed them and then slowly come inside on their own. Winter is when most got close enough to me by necessity, food outside door bc i am not walking feet in the snow. Can take months of watching them with the corner of your eyes as they slink in the cat door and then hide in the house until night time and eat but they figure out fast its safe once they start that process and then actually expect you to open the door for them if its closed LOL.
Half the time is spent being still and silent as they decide the house is sort of better than outdoors all the time then that you are half cat.

Or at least its what my partner tells me. That they all think of me as part cat because they won't let her near them .. One reason we live apart, i don't want the cats to feel to nervous all the time (yes you can figure out how important they are to me). Also she uses a regular tone of voice and walks "hard" or with shoes while i use a soft one and walk in socks quietly

Anyway ferals love companionship and so long as you work slowly at their pace, with their needs in mind then they will come to trust you. You might need gardening gloves to pick her up if sick at first and be prepared to be bitten and scratched but its worth it in the end. I buy old leather jackets to use when i need to capture a feral for a vet visit, protects the body.

Also if he disappears and you are worried, i find it helpful to put missing posters in the neighborhood explaining its a wild cat but need information, often someone knows where it is holed up if sick. You might need to keep him sedated if antiobiotics are necessary for a few days but its far better than death for something simple like an infection, and its amazing how they don't want to leave when they can afterwards.

IMO

[VC2]

Debb

One thing about spaying, occasionally (just like human females with a hysterectomy) the hormone change can cause depression and/or anxiety. I had a cat that needed anti depressants for 6 months after being spayed, she started to growl all day long, act out emotionally and clearly unhappy. She had been a feral too. Was ok for the 6 months before even though never an affectionate girl but this went way further. 3 months and took her off them, she started growling all day again, 6 months and she was fine. Many don't notice the change as clearly or put it down to just not being happy inside but the growls made it obvious.

It was due to the hormonal change in her case, the timing was classic. She is now 13 years old and sleeps on my bed, demanding her cuddles...her way. First she has to lick my fingers til wet then she makes me stroke her jaw and chin..when fingers dry she starts all over again and if i try to stroke her to early she catches my hand with her 10 pins lol.

They can be very helpful and sometimes it is simply a way to help them cope until they adjust properly. Ferals are especially in a traumatic situation if they were placed in a shelter. Sounds like your cousins is lucky she took her...many would return a furbaby because its not fittng with their image of how a cat should behave but there are things to do with behavioral issues. A second cat can help...i sympathise with ehr feelings on kittens lol because i prefer to find homes for older cats. So long as a second cat is fairly submissive then it should be fine if she joins the other one.

[R~O~S]

Is that the cat that *we* had to make emergency housing for during one of your snowstorms? IIRC, you used those silver blankets that you had in your basement from cub/boy scouts?? :tonguewag:

survival blankets & the dog house Nakita turn her nose up at. Good memory Noah. :laugh:

[Debb]

Thanks for all the ideas. We will consider them all! The links are great too!

The cat was checked out by the vet and had all her shots and grooming, nails clipped etc., however, she is going to take her back again very soon for another check up and discuss the problem with the vet. I'll tell her to make sure she is really spayed. I don't think we could hold her long enough to examine it ourself. She will not allow you to hold her. The vet will need to do it.

When the cat first came to the house she used the litter box everytime. After 2 weeks she started spraying the walls and baseboards and pooping in the middle of the guest room. She would do it about 4 times per week. The rest she did in the litter box. She has 2 and she uses them both. Cousin tried different litters and arrived at one that has no fragrance and the cat seemd to like as she would use it sometimes for a week and then go back to spraying and pooping in the floor. If she shuts the door to the guest room, she will spray and poop in the living room. She has cleaned, sprayed the special formula for cat spray, etc. You name it she's tried it.

My cousin tried treats too. After the cat used the litter box, she got a treat. If she used the floor she got nothing. She went for 2 weeks without any problem and then she started relapsing. The good behavior for 4 days, then 4 days of bad behavior, 7 days of good behavior, then 7 days of bad behavior. One day good, one day bad. It has no rhyme or reason. Nothing different happens in the home.

I'm copying all of the articles and taking notes from all your ideas here so we can solve this problem. I'm going to campaign for her to get a kitten. The real reason is that her last kitten crawled behind her washing machine and she could barely get it out. She has low mobility. She is just scared it will crawl somewhere and get stuck and she won't be able to get it out. I know it's irrational but that is how she thinks.

[dgfred]

I think the original post was saying the cat sprayed pee outside the box, not spraying like the boy cats do to mark territory... I think.

[Debb]

I think the original post was saying the cat sprayed pee outside the box, not spraying like the boy cats do to mark territory... I think.

My cousin says her cat backs up to the wall and sprays it from her behind. She doesn't squat down and pee like a girl. I think that is how male cats to it too. I had a male cat do it awhile ago, although I never saw him do it. I have seen lions do it on tv. LOL.

The male cat spray is very smelly!!!! Uuuucckk. My cousin says her cat spray is also smelly, but I never smelled it over the weekend, so I couldn't confirm it was as smelly as a male. The male spray is very distinctive and if a male cat does it in your house, it is likely to stay in the carpet of furniture for a long while even after you try to clean it up.

[dgfred]

OK, I understand now.

I know all about the boy cats. My outside boy (Junior) likes to make his presence known occaisionally by sneaking into the garage and then leaving his 'mark' :thumbdown: . Takes about a week for the smell to subside. I've never seen or heard of a female doing what you describe, except with missing the litter box while peeing... but that doesn't seem to be the same.

[camracrazy]

Sometimes animals and people just don't "click" for whatever reason. It sounds like this may be the case with your cousin and this cat.

I saw an add in the paper several years ago for a conure. At the time we had lovebirds and cockatiels that we had successfully handraised. I went to look at him and the poor thing was being kept in a tiny cage. He could get out on a perch but they had a cat that stalked the poor thing the whole time he was out of the cage. I bought him because I couldn't leave him there! We immediately went out and bought him huge cage and tried to work with him. He did not want to come to anyone or be held, but he wouldn't nip unless you tried to grab him. Unfortunately my mom developed lung problems from breathing in smoke from a house fire (not at the house the birds were at) and we had to rehome the birds. A friend of my mom's took them. I went to see them and there was this distrusting conure sitting on her finger letting her kiss on him! Brat!! LOL I was so happy that he found someone he felt he could trust. I have no idea why he liked her when he had never shown a liking for anyone else.

My step-dad had a different conure that only liked men. It could even be a man she didn't know. She hated women with a passion and would aggressively go after any woman she saw if she was out of her cage. Once I was cleaning her cage and feeding her (with her a safe distance away, I thought) and she somehow managed to hop/fly just far enough (her wings were trimmed) to grab my top lip in her beak. She would not let go and that was some of the WORST pain I have ever felt. No one had ever hurt her and she had been hand raised my some people my parents knew. Some animals are just quirky, like some people! :blink:

[Debb]

Camracrazy, you may be right. Maybe she is just not happy. Perhaps they are just not a good match, however, I don't think I could ever convince my cousin of that. She LOVES the cat no matter what. My cousin has made the comment a couple of times that the cat likes me better than her. I downplay it and say she is just curious with a different person in the house, but still. I think it bothers her. Recently the cat rubbed against my leg and meowed. This was a first! I had never seen the cat do either of those things before.

I don't let the cat sit near me when I eat, I don't feed her people food and I don't let her jump on the counter when we are preparing food. You would think the cat wouldn't like me so much. LOL.

I have to say that whenever I go visit anyone with cats, the cats come up and are affectionate with me. I thought that was normal. I don't particularly want cats on me as I have allergies and also don't like hair on my clothes, so I know it's not that I am inviting affection from the cats. Perhaps they sense that you are a challenge and want to win you over? Just a thought.

[Spyder88]

Camracrazy, you may be right. Maybe she is just not happy. Perhaps they are just not a good match, however, I don't think I could ever convince my cousin of that. She LOVES the cat no matter what. My cousin has made the comment a couple of times that the cat likes me better than her. I downplay it and say she is just curious with a different person in the house, but still. I think it bothers her. Recently the cat rubbed against my leg and meowed. This was a first! I had never seen the cat do either of those things before.

I don't let the cat sit near me when I eat, I don't feed her people food and I don't let her jump on the counter when we are preparing food. You would think the cat wouldn't like me so much. LOL.

I have to say that whenever I go visit anyone with cats, the cats come up and are affectionate with me. I thought that was normal. I don't particularly want cats on me as I have allergies and also don't like hair on my clothes, so I know it's not that I am inviting affection from the cats. Perhaps they sense that you are a challenge and want to win you over? Just a thought.


My experience with cats is that the more you ignore them, the more intriguing you are. Plus, you don't get into their space like a big, lumbering giant.

I also think that while they are always curious about anyone and anything, they want to be the first one to make a move rather than vice versa.

They're so used to people always wanting to touch them right away or trying to get them to come to them, they appear to be somewhat fascinated by those who don't appear to want them. :shrug: I have friends I dub my "cat people", because they are kind of the same way.

Still, it's interesting how various animal react to new people and new surroundings. Advise your cousin, with this feral in particular, to try listening to her new friend once in a while, rather than monopolizing the entire conversation. The cat may be trying to tell her some things...and she may need some quiet time more than a socialized animal would.



Good luck.

[Details]

Camracrazy, you may be right. Maybe she is just not happy. Perhaps they are just not a good match, however, I don't think I could ever convince my cousin of that. She LOVES the cat no matter what. My cousin has made the comment a couple of times that the cat likes me better than her. I downplay it and say she is just curious with a different person in the house, but still. I think it bothers her. Recently the cat rubbed against my leg and meowed. This was a first! I had never seen the cat do either of those things before.

I don't let the cat sit near me when I eat, I don't feed her people food and I don't let her jump on the counter when we are preparing food. You would think the cat wouldn't like me so much. LOL.

I have to say that whenever I go visit anyone with cats, the cats come up and are affectionate with me. I thought that was normal. I don't particularly want cats on me as I have allergies and also don't like hair on my clothes, so I know it's not that I am inviting affection from the cats. Perhaps they sense that you are a challenge and want to win you over? Just a thought.That sounds more and more like the eye contact thing. Eye contact is a dominance gesture, for felines. She might try not looking the cat right in the eyes for much time at all, and when she does - look it right in the eyes - give a slow blink (both eyes simultaneously) - then look away. Since she really likes the cat, she's probably looking at it all the time. She can - just don't make sustained eye contact - especially before the cat has attached well to her.

Cats liking the one person in the room who pays them the least attention is a well known thing - and it's because the cat lovers look at the kitty, admire it, call it - while the person who doesn't like the cat, doesn't look at it much at all. To the cat's mind, all those cat lovers are challenging it, dominating it - while there's only one person in the room being friendly - the one who is not looking at it.

[Debb]

I think you are right Details. When we went to the Adoption Center to get the cat we were seated in this small room so she could get aquainted. We sat down along with the adoption worker and the cat. My cousin and the worker talked to the cat and tried to pet it. I sat and did not speak to it nor attempt to touch it. The cat ran from them, but came up to me and sat by me. I thought that my cousin would have picked up on the fact that all that attention was too overwhelming and to lay off, but she never did.

After the cat reacted to me in the little adoption room, I excused myself and left the room to allow just them to be together to get acquainted. The cat then tried to get out of the room.

It may hurt her feelings, but I am going to tell her that I got some good tips on this message board and one of them was to avoid too much eye contact with the cat. It won't hurt to try it and see if it helps.

[Details]

Just don't phrase it as too much attention, maybe - and explain to her that this is simply feline body language. To them, it's a dominance gesture, a way of challenging them to a fight, a rude thing to do. The more feral the cat was, the more it's going to be feeling challenged from that body language.

[ABC]

I am having a heck of a problem with the cat. The cat is 7 years old. She was barred from my son's house for pooping on their bed. I rescued her and at the time, another friend who supposedly loves cats took her. She was returned in six months cause she was pooping on the sofa. I got Dr E cat litter, followed the directions and isolated her in one room for a week and seemed to be fine. That was five years ago. Within the last two months, I moved and a friend retired out here and we are sharing a house. The cat gets more lots of love and attention and she "loves" it. Also. about four times a year I go on the odd vacation. She use to stay in my house but then she started pooping all over and the friend that fed her took her to her house. The friend's house who have one cat and two 10inch Italian Greyhounds which my friend swears she loves and did not poop at her house. Within the last two months, the cat started pooping on my leather sofa and I have just about every cleaner and herbal Cat Off made. Inspite of plasitc layers on the Leather Sofa, she peeded on the plastic. I have put her back in the laundry isolation room. My friend with the animals wants to take the cat to live at her house, inspite of her litter issue. She insists the cat loves being around her animals and watching them. BTW, my cat was the runt of the litter and the other cats picked on her which does not happen at my friend's house. My friend also thinks isolating the cat with the litter box is cruel. I want what is best for the cat.
Please share your thoughts about these issues. Obviously, my newly retired friend is very unhappy about the cat pooping on the sofa. He does love this cat and gives her lots of attention but enough is enough.
The cat is a Birman and just beautiful. Most of time she wears her round eyes and is a love but when she puts on her slit eyes a pain. Yesterday she was doing her playing around and jumping at my feet thing - she never touches my feet - I was done playing, shot a little water her way. She promply went into the living room and pooped on the sofa. WHAT TO DO????????????

[Spyder88]

I am having a heck of a problem with the cat. The cat is 7 years old. She was barred from my son's house for pooping on their bed. I rescued her and at the time, another friend who supposedly loves cats took her. She was returned in six months cause she was pooping on the sofa. I got Dr E cat litter, followed the directions and isolated her in one room for a week and seemed to be fine. That was five years ago. Within the last two months, I moved and a friend retired out here and we are sharing a house. The cat gets more lots of love and attention and she "loves" it. Also. about four times a year I go on the odd vacation. She use to stay in my house but then she started pooping all over and the friend that fed her took her to her house. The friend's house who have one cat and two 10inch Italian Greyhounds which my friend swears she loves and did not poop at her house. Within the last two months, the cat started pooping on my leather sofa and I have just about every cleaner and herbal Cat Off made. Inspite of plasitc layers on the Leather Sofa, she peeded on the plastic. I have put her back in the laundry isolation room. My friend with the animals wants to take the cat to live at her house, inspite of her litter issue. She insists the cat loves being around her animals and watching them. BTW, my cat was the runt of the litter and the other cats picked on her which does not happen at my friend's house. My friend also thinks isolating the cat with the litter box is cruel. I want what is best for the cat.
Please share your thoughts about these issues. Obviously, my newly retired friend is very unhappy about the cat pooping on the sofa. He does love this cat and gives her lots of attention but enough is enough.
The cat is a Birman and just beautiful. Most of time she wears her round eyes and is a love but when she puts on her slit eyes a pain. Yesterday she was doing her playing around and jumping at my feet thing - she never touches my feet - I was done playing, shot a little water her way. She promply went into the living room and pooped on the sofa. WHAT TO DO????????????

Sounds like she doesn't need to be further bounced around from one household to the next, she doesn't need isolation and IMVHOO, she most certainly doesn't need to get spritzed with water. Although most people say it's all right, water spraying them in the face isn't allowed with my cats, not ever. I think it's just, plain mean. My cats have always learned to behave without it.

Personally, I'd let her go to the home where she seemed the happiest and count my blessings there is such a place for her to go. Ask yourself what you want with her, what you expect from her and what you are willing to sacrifice to keep her physically and mentally happy and healthy.

She's 7 years old and could live another 10-15 more. If she's not happy at your house, you're in for a long haul...and for what?

JMHO

[ABC]

Sounds like she doesn't need to be further bounced around from one household to the next, she doesn't need isolation and IMVHOO, she most certainly doesn't need to get spritzed with water. Although most people say it's all right, water spraying them in the face isn't allowed with my cats, not ever. I think it's just, plain mean. My cats have always learned to behave without it.

Personally, I'd let her go to the home where she seemed the happiest and count my blessings there is such a place for her to go. Ask yourself what you want with her, what you expect from her and what you are willing to sacrifice to keep her physically and mentally happy and healthy.

She's 7 years old and could live another 10-15 more. If she's not happy at your house, you're in for a long haul...and for what?

JMHO
I will if I knew which house. Do you think she is telling me "its over"? Can a cat who has been an only child for 7 years be happy with those other animals? Believe me, I just want to do what is best for her.

[Debb]

Hey ABC, I have received a lot of great advice on this thread. Check it out and also click on the links that are provided. I have copied them and am giving them to my cousin to help with her cat litter issue. It's a common problem according to many authorities.
They start with getting the cat a physical and talk to the vet. You also go through a checklist of potential causes, such as someone new moving in, new furniture moving in, anything new or different can cause them stress and create the litter problem. Living with new pets can be the cause of conflict with the cat. Also, when I was in college, I had a stray cat that I took in and cared for. The cat did not like my roommate. Once it pooped on her bed!!!! I couldn't believe it. But I knew what she was saying. She did not like my roommate. She only did it once though.

And, it could be new litter they don't like or the litter box is placed somewhere that is loud. Basically, I have discovered that it can be sOOOOOOOO many things that cause it. I even found that if your litter has soda in it, it makes a noise than humans may not hear but that cats don't like. Really odd stuff.

We are going to go through the list and check off all possibilites. Hopefully, we can solve the problem. If not, I guess my cousin will have a pretty stinky house before long. LOL.

Good luck.

[Spyder88]

I will if I knew which house. Do you think she is telling me "its over"? Can a cat who has been an only child for 7 years be happy with those other animals? Believe me, I just want to do what is best for her.

I have four cats, two dogs. They've known each other since they were around a year or two old. Some of them get along great and others just don't and probably never will.

Nikki and Harley (cats)will always dislike Shadow (cat). Tang and Shadow (cats) love everyone. Holly (dog) doesn't like Nikki, Nikki hates everyone except Harley and she'll tolerate Tang sometimes. Mocha (dog) likes to be dominant dog to Shadow, but Shadow never cares. You can almost see him go :rolleyes: when she dominant dog humps him. LOL Still and all, they get along peacefully for the most part.

Suffice it to say it would be difficult for me to give any of them up, but I know I would if I felt they weren't happy with me or seemed unhappy being with other pets. Maybe your cat likes your friend's cats & the greyhounds. Maybe she really likes your friend. :shrug: Some things only you can answer, hon.

Best wishes....

[drip~drop1]

Thanks again. Some good tips in the article. She'll start with another vet check before starting with crate training. I am also searching for a feral cat expert.

My cousin has had pets her entire life. She had her dog for about 10 years. Sweetest dog in the world. Her parents also had her dog's mother and brother. All lived long happy lives. Her family also had several cats over the years. They were usually outdoor cats and the dogs were inside. But the cats were loving and tame.

My cousin lost her mother a couple of years ago and it has been very difficult for her. She does miss her a lot and she is also disabled. She gets out a couple of times per week. The cat she had before this one was a stray given to her by an uncle. It was indoor only with her, but had leukemia when she got it. Sweetess cat in the world but had to be put down due to how sick she got. Vet tried to treat her but she only got worse.

My cousin was so heartbroken over the cat that died that she almost immediately replaced it with this one from a shelter. She fell in love with the way it looked. She thought nobody else would want the cat because of the way it looks. (I think it's cute. White with a black nose.) During the office visit the cat would not go to her at all. It would not let her nor the worker go near her. I was wary then and asked if she was sure she wanted it when there were dozens of other cats in the place purring and begging to be held. She insisted and the rest has been history. It's a real shame.

Feral cats need special attention. I can almost bet it makes the cat crazy to be called after every second.

Send that kitty to me and he'll be fine in 2..maybe 3 days.
I've been working with ferals for several years now. One day they're leary of me and maybe a hiss. A couple days later, i'm their best friend.
They so don't like when new people are overbearing and overwhelming them. At this point, your cousin has to back off and let the cat decide to like her on his own terms.

[drip~drop1]

I am having a heck of a problem with the cat. The cat is 7 years old. She was barred from my son's house for pooping on their bed. I rescued her and at the time, another friend who supposedly loves cats took her. She was returned in six months cause she was pooping on the sofa. I got Dr E cat litter, followed the directions and isolated her in one room for a week and seemed to be fine. That was five years ago. Within the last two months, I moved and a friend retired out here and we are sharing a house. The cat gets more lots of love and attention and she "loves" it. Also. about four times a year I go on the odd vacation. She use to stay in my house but then she started pooping all over and the friend that fed her took her to her house. The friend's house who have one cat and two 10inch Italian Greyhounds which my friend swears she loves and did not poop at her house. Within the last two months, the cat started pooping on my leather sofa and I have just about every cleaner and herbal Cat Off made. Inspite of plasitc layers on the Leather Sofa, she peeded on the plastic. I have put her back in the laundry isolation room. My friend with the animals wants to take the cat to live at her house, inspite of her litter issue. She insists the cat loves being around her animals and watching them. BTW, my cat was the runt of the litter and the other cats picked on her which does not happen at my friend's house. My friend also thinks isolating the cat with the litter box is cruel. I want what is best for the cat.
Please share your thoughts about these issues. Obviously, my newly retired friend is very unhappy about the cat pooping on the sofa. He does love this cat and gives her lots of attention but enough is enough.
The cat is a Birman and just beautiful. Most of time she wears her round eyes and is a love but when she puts on her slit eyes a pain. Yesterday she was doing her playing around and jumping at my feet thing - she never touches my feet - I was done playing, shot a little water her way. She promply went into the living room and pooped on the sofa. WHAT TO DO????????????

cats hate having water sprayed at them. It probably ticked her off so she pooped.
Sorry to say this but maybe she would be happier with your friend. You'd still be able to see her and maybe her litter box issues can be resolved there. Maybe she does indeed really love those little greyhounds.:wub: