Man Charged With Killing Autistic Boy, 3

[Tracker]

http://www.click2houston.com/news/17327954/detail.html

Conroe police said Chase Cannon, 27, killed his girlfriend's son, Ethan Kirby.
An autopsy showed he had been hit in the back of the head. He suffered a broken left arm, bruises and what appeared to be burns to the bottom of his feet.

"We have information that the child could not communicate other than by gestures. That would also hinder the child telling anybody about any injuries. So, we believe, based on the evidence, that the child had received injuries over a period of time because of the multiple bruises with multiple stages of healing," Berry said.

I'd like to know why the mother wasn't charged since it seems this abuse had been on for 'a period of time'.

[im4justice]

Originally posted by Tracker
http://www.click2houston.com/news/17327954/detail.html

Conroe police said Chase Cannon, 27, killed his girlfriend's son, Ethan Kirby.
An autopsy showed he had been hit in the back of the head. He suffered a broken left arm, bruises and what appeared to be burns to the bottom of his feet.

"We have information that the child could not communicate other than by gestures. That would also hinder the child telling anybody about any injuries. So, we believe, based on the evidence, that the child had received injuries over a period of time because of the multiple bruises with multiple stages of healing," Berry said.

I'd like to know why the mother wasn't charged since it seems this abuse had been on for 'a period of time'. [/*]
I agree How could a mother not notice or overlook broken bones and burns?

[Amy]

I guess there are still some women who feel they need a "man" (the word used loosely here) in their lives so badly that they will overlook the danger for their children.

[ExArkie]

I've never been able to understand how a Mother can take such trash into her bed and house where her children live!

I once worked with a woman who had been married 5 times and had numerous liaisons without marriage. She had two children. She just could not face living and being alone! The horrible "creatures" she brought into her life and home were beyond description - let's just say, they gave the human race a bad name. Why did she do it? Her only explanation was that she was lonely! I have NEVER been that lonely, thankfully!:(

[lunchlady]

I have a older boy who is autistic and am also an RN who has worked with many abused children. Parents of autistics and other types of special needs kids are very stressed and get bombarded by people giving them advice about how to parent, including admonitions to be tougher disciplinarians. These parents also tend to be lonely, as friends and family often stay away rather than be around a kid who is disruptive, has a lot of tantrums, and is perceived to be subnormal. This means less free babysitting, use of babysitting coops, etc. Also moms who have their boyfriends babysit are often not aware of the prevalence of abuse by boyfriends, even if the kid is cute and normal. Young children are hard to take care of sometimes even for the natural parents, and a boyfriend might also resent being less gainfully employed than the mother and would prefer the kid didn't even exist as a cockblocker and general nuisance. So there are lots of risk factors in this situation. The mom might have been lonely, unable to get other childcare easily, and even hoping that the kid would respond to stern discipline. She may have also not have cared that much about this kid, especially if biodad ditched her when he filgured out that the kid had problems, which isn't unusual either.
This is not to say that Mom shouldn't have been looking out for her kid and figured it out sooner even if she didn't officially know before her kid died of abuse. I'm just offering possible reasons why this might have come about.
Having a special needs kid puts you in a parallel universe, and I still find it shocking how unsupportive most old friends and family have been for our little nuclear family. Our collective glamour as a family plummeted. On the other hand there have been many kind people who have helped us over the years. Most of those people were getting paid however, either by us or the government. The more without resources a family with a special needs kid is, the more at risk that kid is for abuse and neglect.

[4Kids]

I have a older boy who is autistic and am also an RN who has worked with many abused children. Parents of autistics and other types of special needs kids are very stressed and get bombarded by people giving them advice about how to parent, including admonitions to be tougher disciplinarians. These parents also tend to be lonely, as friends and family often stay away rather than be around a kid who is disruptive, has a lot of tantrums, and is perceived to be subnormal. This means less free babysitting, use of babysitting coops, etc. Also moms who have their boyfriends babysit are often not aware of the prevalence of abuse by boyfriends, even if the kid is cute and normal. Young children are hard to take care of sometimes even for the natural parents, and a boyfriend might also resent being less gainfully employed than the mother and would prefer the kid didn't even exist as a cockblocker and general nuisance. So there are lots of risk factors in this situation. The mom might have been lonely, unable to get other childcare easily, and even hoping that the kid would respond to stern discipline. She may have also not have cared that much about this kid, especially if biodad ditched her when he filgured out that the kid had problems, which isn't unusual either.
This is not to say that Mom shouldn't have been looking out for her kid and figured it out sooner even if she didn't officially know before her kid died of abuse. I'm just offering possible reasons why this might have come about.
Having a special needs kid puts you in a parallel universe, and I still find it shocking how unsupportive most old friends and family have been for our little nuclear family. Our collective glamour as a family plummeted. On the other hand there have been many kind people who have helped us over the years. Most of those people were getting paid however, either by us or the government. The more without resources a family with a special needs kid is, the more at risk that kid is for abuse and neglect.


Wow. Your post is very interesting. I read it several times as I couldn't put my finger on where my irritation was coming from.

I, too, have a moderate autistic 4 year old son. If I ever allow my son to be murdered, please don't make excuses for me.

Don't claim that since I am low income (although I am not)(if I were and my son was autistic...Medicaid and SSI kick as well as early intervention, therapies, respite care and school).

Please don't claim that my son has caused such harship in my life that my friends abandoned me. My aquantaintances did. My TRUE friends are still here.

Please don't make being the parent of a special needs child to be so awful that murder is excused. That abuse is ignored. That laying down next to a warm man at night is more important to a parent....because life is terrible with a special needs child.

Your excuses for this woman's behavior make children with autism seem subhuman and so difficult that a normal average person simply can't take the stress of raising them.. Well....I am surrounded by plenty of normal, average people who do just that. I know many couples with autistic children who remain married. Fathers who are devoted to their children. Families who could not even dream about their life whithout their special needs child. True Blue Parents. Some rich, some poor. Some single, some married.

But they all have one thing in common. They love their children and could never bear to see them harmed. Whether they have autism or not.

MOO

[lunchlady]

Wow. Your post is very interesting. I read it several times as I couldn't put my finger on where my irritation was coming from.

I, too, have a moderate autistic 4 year old son. If I ever allow my son to be murdered, please don't make excuses for me.

Don't claim that since I am low income (although I am not)(if I were and my son was autistic...Medicaid and SSI kick as well as early intervention, therapies, respite care and school).

Please don't claim that my son has caused such harship in my life that my friends abandoned me. My aquantaintances did. My TRUE friends are still here.

Please don't make being the parent of a special needs child to be so awful that murder is excused. That abuse is ignored. That laying down next to a warm man at night is more important to a parent....because life is terrible with a special needs child.

Your excuses for this woman's behavior make children with autism seem subhuman and so difficult that a normal average person simply can't take the stress of raising them.. Well....I am surrounded by plenty of normal, average people who do just that. I know many couples with autistic children who remain married. Fathers who are devoted to their children. Families who could not even dream about their life whithout their special needs child. True Blue Parents. Some rich, some poor. Some single, some married.

But they all have one thing in common. They love their children and could never bear to see them harmed. Whether they have autism or not.

MOO

I agree, most parents wouldn't allow this to happen to their special needs kid and would take even more than the usual precautions to prevent bad things from happening since the kid can't look out for themselves as well as a regular kid. My point was that it can be easier for a lousy guy to be hanging around, easier for the mom to be preoccupied with her own selfish concerns, etc. There is support for parents with special needs, but I think for many families it falls short. I [ve noticed that the other special needs moms I've met over the years (16 years so far) are definitely fatter, more depressed, more likely to drink, be divorced, etc. Is it all their fault because they don't love their kids enough or because they're wimps?
If you're getting enough support that's great and you should feel lucky. We've gotten all sorts of services for my son and he's doing pretty well, but we've been left out of all sorts of social things over the years and sometimes it really hurts.

[momof6]

4kids: Great Post!

[lorjac]

I completely agree 4Kids......

I have a friend w/an autistic son and I've always told her his special needs just mean he has special gifts as well.

He's still a little boy..... her little boy.

[lunchlady]

If people think I was trying to say that it was okay for this little boy to get brutalized to death then they aren't reading my post very well, or I'm not writing very well.
I was trying to present some factors which might have contributed to this crime happening, not saying it was okay.
Kids are born into all sorts of homes, with or without special needs. Some of those homes are less wonderful than others, and a kid with extra or "special" needs can overwhelm the internal resources of that family more easily. Its also possible that this mom wasn't so bad on her own, but the wrong guy came into her life and she wasn't careful enough who she let be around her kid.
If people still think I'm saying offensive things I'll just shut up and pay attention to the other threads.

[4Kids]

If people think I was trying to say that it was okay for this little boy to get brutalized to death then they aren't reading my post very well, or I'm not writing very well.
I was trying to present some factors which might have contributed to this crime happening, not saying it was okay.
Kids are born into all sorts of homes, with or without special needs. Some of those homes are less wonderful than others, and a kid with extra or "special" needs can overwhelm the internal resources of that family more easily. Its also possible that this mom wasn't so bad on her own, but the wrong guy came into her life and she wasn't careful enough who she let be around her kid.
If people still think I'm saying offensive things I'll just shut up and pay attention to the other threads.

Lunchlady, I don't find your post offensive. I simply said it was irritating. I don't think you are irritating. I have read your posts on other threads and they are well thought out and interesting.

However...I guess you struck a nerve. Everytime a special needs child is abused or murdered....many have your same reaction. "Reasons" are given. In my book, they are excuses. If you say I don't condone these actions, but.....the but means you do. That is how I see it. If someone were to murder their child with diabetes, there would be very few people blaming the diabetes for the murder. Or a child with cancer, or a child who is blind or deaf. All of these issues can cause major stress in families. But I have never heard them used as excuses for abuse or murder.

This woman made the choice. A man over her child. The injuries this child sustained could not have been overlooked. She knew. And perhaps participated. But for certain, she knew. And that to me is not simply bad judgement or a mistake. It is a crime. A crime against her child, a crime against society and if you lean that way...a crime against God. No excuses and no buts. MOO.

PS. Lunchlady. If you are ever feeling stressed or alone with autism...feel free to PM me. I would be more than happy to have a cyber coffee with you anytime.

[lunchlady]

Lunchlady, I don't find your post offensive. I simply said it was irritating. I don't think you are irritating. I have read your posts on other threads and they are well thought out and interesting.

However...I guess you struck a nerve. Everytime a special needs child is abused or murdered....many have your same reaction. "Reasons" are given. In my book, they are excuses. If you say I don't condone these actions, but.....the but means you do. That is how I see it. If someone were to murder their child with diabetes, there would be very few people blaming the diabetes for the murder. Or a child with cancer, or a child who is blind or deaf. All of these issues can cause major stress in families. But I have never heard them used as excuses for abuse or murder.

This woman made the choice. A man over her child. The injuries this child sustained could not have been overlooked. She knew. And perhaps participated. But for certain, she knew. And that to me is not simply bad judgement or a mistake. It is a crime. A crime against her child, a crime against society and if you lean that way...a crime against God. No excuses and no buts. MOO.

PS. Lunchlady. If you are ever feeling stressed or alone with autism...feel free to PM me. I would be more than happy to have a cyber coffee with you anytime.

I appreciate the explanation and offer of cybercoffee, but I still have more to say here.
Mentioning my personal experience perhaps made it seem like I feel a lot of sympathy for the mother of the dead boy, but I actually think the mother deserves generous punishment, which ideally would take her out of the reproductive game long enough that she can't have more children before menopause.
Sadly, children with other disabilities do get abused, neglected, and abandoned also, including kids with the physical things you mentioned. The foster care system has a disproportionately large number of children with medical problems. Some premature babies who manage to survive the NICU are never picked up and taken home and they go directly into the foster care system. I know a NICU nurse who adopted a little boy who was abandoned at her unit and she wishes she could adopt more. There was a severe CP kid murdered by his father who had sole custody a few years ago in the Northeast. The dad said he wanted to put the kid out of his misery, but of course it seemed more like he wanted to end his own unhappiness about taking care of the boy. And so on.
A lot of kids are born into homes which end up not being able to meet their various needs, even here in the US where we are relatively wealthy and have a governmental safety net. I wish it wasn't so, but the little broken bodies keep rolling in the door of the hospital or the morgue.

[Annie143]

This thread was very interesting to me and I am glad I read it. I can see what both sides are saying and I think, trying to say. And, thank goodness, no one lost their temper.

I have a cousin that had a special needs child, now an almost middle
aged man, and she fought hard for every bit of help she could get and she also was ostracized at times because of his condition. It happens.
She was a tiger and I admire that. She really wanted a man in her life but she would not have let anyone harm her son to achieve that.

It seems lunchlady is just talking about some of the frustrations and lonliness that she has seen and may have experienced and not everyone is capable of dealing with those feelings. Not justification, at all to this little boys tragic death.

Anyway, good conversation.

[lunchlady]

Thank you Annie 143. I was hoping to be educational and I hope I succeeded somewhat. If people don't know what they or other people are up against then they it is harder for them to know how or when to help prevent these kind of tragedies. I wish every kid could get what they need and not be compromised by violence, poverty, abuse, etc, and some kids are more lucky than others where they land when the stork drops them.