JOKES,VIDEOS, U TUBE, POEMS, & ONLINE GAMES [links only please]

[bchand]

I finally got to see this entire thing. How cute !!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UxhPbMyy8

[Callie]

Hi All:seeya:

Here's a joke I really got a kick out of.

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 6 year old.
"I think it's about time we started cussing."
The 4 year old nods his head in approval.
The 6 year old continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say something with hell and you say something with a$$."
The 4 year old agrees with enthusiasm.
When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have some Cheerios."
WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step.
His mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until I let you out!"
She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat a$$ it won't be Cheerios!"

[Callie]

I finally got to see this entire thing. How cute !!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_UxhPbMyy8

That's so adorable, bc. Thanks!

[CindR]

This is cute. :wub:


Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?
This is for all the germ conscious folks who worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90-year-old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan .

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, John's grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs, and toast the next morning. However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate and questioned his grandfather asking, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!"

For lunch, the old man made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as it appeared to have tiny specks around the edge that looked like dried egg and asked, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"

Without looking up the old man said, "I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!"

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town, and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car."

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted. "Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!"

[Jayne]

Another amazing "regular person" talent on AGT...there are so many that are so good..this was in very touching - based on her life, perseverence, and "plain-ness"....

This was her audition on AGT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqbFkKHxoS8&feature=SeriesPlayList&p=906B0409E9A76832

This is a kareoke (sp?) - that would blow them away on AGT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AODhs9qKirQ

jmo

J

[Lavinia]

I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo and got mauled and people were talking about how there should have been better defenses put up to prevent people getting into the cage. A friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent, for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in.

[Unleashed]

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!
________________________________________
If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?


Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway..


Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?



If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


to be continued.....................

[Unleashed]

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

[Lavinia]

VW Polo singing dog ad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9beQh1yH5uU

[Jayne]

HAHAHA...I love Wylie Coyote...I have a print of an Wylie Coyote vs. Acme writing that was in the NY Post..OH So Many Years ago...so hysterical....I framed it and had it on my office wall... I'd have to rewrite it..I think..or maybe it's online..I'll check..I found it online..hysterical...if you get the PI legal stuff.and the idiocy of the cartoon characters!

http://www.joke-archives.com/lawyers/coyotevsacme.html

As I read through it..I could visualize all of those silly, funny, entertaining cartoons. Now in CA...I've seen both the roadrunners and the coyotes....what a concept by the original cartoonists. I still align with ol Wiley..smart..stupid..funny...tenacious..and probably starving to death? Why didn't HE eat the birdseed?

But I loved the one..if he can afford all that ACME stuff..why not afford dinner?! LOL Cause, I think he loved the chase..and he couldn't resist all those gadgets?! One of the Best ever Cartoons!

jmo - - "Beep...Beep"!

J

[Lavinia]

Really neat music video. :thumbsup: How did they do it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfBlUQguvyw

[bchand]

How cool is this? It's called "rain in africa."

This video is a little over 6 minutes long, but at least listen to the first 2minutes.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkOtA3WkQw4

[Mr. Moto2]

This is what resulted from the abomination that is Yahoo Answers. These were actual postings. It just grows on you as it repeats.

How is babby formed?
http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby.swf

[Jayne]

I can't even figure out the directions.

:ohmy:

It's a brain TRICK...

it's the colour that you see.NOT the word..that is what makes it tricky..

you see the WORD BLUE..but it's typed in RED...you have to say RED!

I love these things...have to see the trees or the forest...too many people focus on the trees...cause the've been told to....look at the Big Picture..what do you see? A word? or a colour?

Fun....fun...fun...

jmo

j

[Veritas]

Freedom isn't free.

He wasn't a celebrity that was adored by millions, but millions of people are free because of his sacrifice.



http://e.blip.tv/scripts/flash/showplayer.swf?file=http%3A%2F%2Fblip.tv%2Frss%2Ff lash%2F2257594%3Freferrer%3Dhttp%25253A%25252F%252 52Fforums.ebay.com%25252Fdb1%25252Ftopic%25252FJew elry-Gemstones%25252FOt-Honoring-One%25252F510113000%26source%3D3&showplayerpath=http%3A%2F%2Fblip.tv%2Fscripts%2Ffl ash%2Fshowplayer.swf&feedurl=http%3A%2F%2Frepdavis.blip.tv%2Frss%2Fflas h&brandname=blip.tv&brandlink=http%3A%2F%2Fblip.tv%2F%3Futm_source%3Db randlink&enablejs=true


:patriot:

[Jayne]

Freedom isn't free.

He wasn't a celebrity that was adored by millions, but millions of people are free because of his sacrifice.



:patriot:

OMG what a tribute...beautiful video...a true "Celebrity" for US in the USA!

jmo

J

[~jomomma~]

i've not read thru this whole thread so sorry if this has already been posted :biggrin:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftvNyluqjzY



and this...is amazing! have you all heard of Charice Pempengco?
there are more videos of course at the site. just amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CVloLBxcMQ&feature=related

[ruth66]

http://gizmodo.com/5231112/best-video-ive-seen-today-will-make-you-smile

This video will speak for itself. Best thing I ever got from Twitter. "Be sure and watch the whole thing. You won't regret it."

Wanted to Bump this forward. What an awesome video. Brought me to tears, I love that music is so universal.

Definetly worth watching, it is sure to give you goosebumps and make you smile! :smile:

[Postergeist]

Wanted to Bump this forward. What an awesome video. Brought me to tears, I love that music is so universal.

Definetly worth watching, it is sure to give you goosebumps and make you smile! :smile:

glad you did bump that Ruth- because it refreshed my memory again- my hub's best friend, who is also a musician, sent that to us awhile back.


For those that haven't seen this artist's work or didn't see the photo images that Florida's WFTV Ch. 9 posted I'll put the slide show link here

http://www.wftv.com/slideshow/mostpopular/19601650/detail.html

for his work start at picture #47


(*this site gives a warning that some pics may be considered graphic- altho I didn't find any in these they showed- however, there are some of his sculptures that do show the naked human form- so just be aware, that's why I'm not including any youtube links, etc.)

for those that have trouble viewing the slide show-

here is his one entitle "Boy"

http://www.soweirdo.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/mueck2.jpg

another of his little old ladies

http://visualstreak.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/ron-mueck3.jpg

working on the sculpture's hair on this one

http://zeynepkinli.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/ron-mueck.jpg

and here she is finished

http://www.onedigitallife.com/images/ron-mueck.jpg


(I've been to Madame Tussauds in London twice, but can't imagine seeing his large scale pieces up close!) :ohmy:

[Pretty Leaf]

The Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

And now, the honorable mentions:

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer. $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you more money than he took, is a crime committed?]

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.


2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Remember. . . They walk among us!!! And They Breed !!

[Veritas]

LINK (http://www.freedomslighthouse.com/2009/08/youtube-video-posted-of-pittsburgh.html)


News Story:

LINK (http://www.wpxi.com/news/20524432/detail.html)


Let me have a few minutes with this woman!!:cursing:

[Amy]

Methinks Ms Davis has snowballed her attorney, or he's just another defense lawyer spinning a story. There was a lot going on in the classroom? There didn't seem to be anyone even near, there were no noises and voices from other kids which surely would have been taped, too.

And, if she could not control the classroom w/the assistance she had available, and the administration wouldn't get her more help--if she couldn't handle it, she should have asked for a transfer or quit, or something. And, to blame the school district for not helping her with "her disease" of diabetes--well, I happen to know from personal experience that YOU, the person w/the disease has to manage the diabetes yourself. Such as, following doctors orders, taking your medications and such.

Regardless, there is no excuse for a teacher to slap a student, no matter what the student is or is not doing. If you are totally upset, tell one of the aides who ARE there to watch the kids for a minute whilst you walk to another part of the room if you can't walk out of the room, to collect yourself.

And, this is a big kid, and the teacher is small, and the kid bites and kicks and such? The last thing I would do is get in his face like she was doing, and I would be scared that, if I did slap him, he might react in a violent manner. Who knows? Maybe that would be a way to get out of the situation, have the kid "harm" the teacher, and either the kid would go away (thru transfer) or maybe the teacher would get workers' comp or something, maybe get to be off for a while, with pay, so to speak.

[incidentally]

On the left, in the white box, click on view the clock.

http://www.humanclock.com/

h/t Brian Schrader,

http://www.wral.com/entertainment/blogpost/5860715/

[IcyLogic]

Best song and voice of the 80's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxKEVsJ4hkA

She was pretty damn hot too!

[Lavinia]

Total Eclipse of the Heart~Literal version. Hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA

[incidentally]

http://flashface.ctapt.de/index.php

[Veritas]

LINK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO2eh6f5Go0)

:smile:

[Brentwood]

Hilarious Video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUZuV0xce3A

[Brentwood]

Gilligans Island Mini Golf

http://www3.telus.net/public/a7a55952/islandgolf.htm

[Lavinia]

POOR baby! :scared: ("Urhines"= "Your highness", plus the rest of the name.)

http://www.newbabynews.net/hospitals/stf33/public/stf33birthannouncement.pl?babyID=h33-440

[need2no]

One morning the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out on her on. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book, The peace and solitude are magnificent.

Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, “ Good morning, ma’am, what are you doing?”

“Reading a book” she replied, (while thinking to herself, isn’t it OBVIOUS.)
“You’re in a restricted fishing area”, he informed the woman.

“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”

“Yes, but I see you have all the equipment for fishing.” For all I know you could start fishing at any moment, I’ll have to take you in and write you up for fishing in a restricted area.”

“If you do that I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault”, said the woman.

“But I haven’t even touched you”, said the Game Warden.

“That’s true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.”

“Have a nice day ma’am", he said as he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads, it’s likely she can also think!

[Brentwood]

Funny commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zM8ym0FqM_k

[IaNsSyAlNuE]

Warm, endearing and something to make you smile and lessen the stress of the day...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

[Not Telling]

Bride can't stop laughing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clw7SAJs_6w

[need2no]

One day, there was a catastrophic event which caused all living creatures on earth to die. To sort things out, everyone went to heaven. God approaches and says, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who ruled their women on earth and the other line for the men who were ruled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter."

With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines.

The line of men who were ruled by their women was 1000 miles long, and in the line of men who ruled their women, there was only one man. God became angry and said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and you were all whipped by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him! Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

[islandgirl36542]

Good Lord. Wow

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/32810913#32810913

:w00t:

[BorderCollieMom]

Sitting position
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24Kqss7uIOM&feature=related

lieing down position
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QyJ4Z0jRJ20&feature=related

Everyone needs a Newfy !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYl8SYNuaKQ&feature=related

<3 different households>

[Postergeist]

http://www.wsbtv.com/slideshow/internet/19601650/detail.html

wow, that's talent! :thumbup:

pics 1-22

[Pretty Leaf]

THE DUCK IS DEAD

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she
laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and
listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," replied the vet.

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned
a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever.

As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and
shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the
table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat
sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled
out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this
is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock,
took the bill. "$250?" she cried, "$250 just to tell me my duck is
dead?"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it,
the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat
Scan, it's now $250."

[flipflop]

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed.

'Who was that?' asked his wife.

'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.

'Did you help him?' she asks.

'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'

'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'

'Yes,' comes back the answer.

'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.

'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.

'Where are you?' asks the husband.

'Still over here on the swing,' replied the drunk...

[Brentwood]

was this really considered a joke? I posted this, and it got moved here?

seems legit to me

"Blind Woman Sees With 'Tooth-in-Eye' Surgery"

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Technology/woman-regains-vision-tooth-implanted-eye/story?id=8595589

I agree. It is a medical advancement that will help many to see again.

[barskin&co.]

If you need something to brighten up your day...


this is it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqA-YGa9eAo)

[daniel green]

Awwwwwwwwww, too cute!!!!!!!!!

Does anyone watch Glee?

They had a hillarious bit of the Beyonce dance as well!

Depending on whom you listen to, Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' video may have been one of the best videos of all time. It has spawned countless imitations and spoofs, some of which you can vote on in the slide show below.

And nearly a year later people are still recreating Beyonce's signature moves. This week on 'Glee,' the football team scored the winning point after stunning the opposition with hip wriggling requests to 'put a ring on it.' The dance sequence begins around 2:40.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/24/glees-single-ladies-dance_n_298440.html

[warhorse46]

If you need something to brighten up your day...


this is it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqA-YGa9eAo)



That is soooo cute! Can't help but smile.

[HANNAH ROSE]

Oh my gosh it's freaking hilarious!!! I laughed so hard I cried!:thumbsup:

[Amy S.]

Thanks. I loved it.:tonguewag:

[juliekan]

Awwwwwwwwww, too cute!!!!!!!!!

Does anyone watch Glee?

They had a hillarious bit of the Beyonce dance as well!




http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/24/glees-single-ladies-dance_n_298440.html

Babies, Beyonce, Ballers, all dancing to the same tune. I like it!

[juliekan]

here's the original thread on this topic:

http://boards.insessiontrials.com/showthread.php?t=358899A

[Jayne]

Total Eclipse of the Heart~Literal version. Hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj-x9ygQEGA


WOW yes yes yes...my kind of humour..fantastic!

thanks..

J

[BorderCollieMom]

lmao !!!!!
:thumbsup:


http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/laf/1400613215.html

[Jayne]

Good Lord. Wow

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/32810913#32810913

:w00t:

OH OH OH OH NO NO NO NO...I'd welcome the big roaches I recently had to put up with compared to this. I abhor these creatures..especially THIS BIG. Man...I can't believe they are allowed to have these as "pets". those poor bunnies :(

j

[LadyFuzz]

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day.

All the patients were shouting, '13....13....13.'

The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the

planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.....

Some crazy person poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting '14.....14....14'...

[Themis]

lmao !!!!!
:thumbsup:

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ftw/laf/1400613215.html

I clicked on this one 3 times and about laugh myself sick each time. I could hardly wait to share this one with my e-mail buddies. Thanks!

[Themis]

Spend 2 minutes with Lucky and Misty. Speakers ON.

http://www.flixxy.com/dog-loves-cat.htm

Enjoy.

[orangetaffy]

I have listened to this recording many times over the last couple of years. Each time, I laugh so hard I have tears rolling down my face.

http://www.toilette-humor.com/car_accident.html

click where it says "Man witnesses car accident" "play"

[Hannibal]

http://www.gamespot.com/news/6232028.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;9

[birdwatch]

An anti-woman platform? Another way for disaffected youth (and immature adults) to focus on killing - this time just on killing women. Is ther any governing body that could put a stop to this?

[BorderCollieMom]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqfx7j_H_QI&feature=player_embedded


:tonguewag:

[Themis]

There was this guy who was lonely, and decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box back home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar to have a drink.
So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's with me and have a beer?"
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"

But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY, IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO FRANK'S PLACE AND HAVE A DRINK WITH ME?"

A little voice came out of the box: "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."

[witchywoman]

Let me take u back a lil in time eh?

Very fitting for the month of october, for halloween, for all souls day, etc, for samhain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0n0Av6ABtRw

BOO!

[warhorse46]

That's good stuff. This take you back even more.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0thH3qnHTbI&feature=PlayList&p=082E1FEA7550A884&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=13

[Pashie]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx47qrH1GRs

[incidentally]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0thH3qnHTbI&feature=related

[witchywoman]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx47qrH1GRs

Ya'll know u just made me put on my dancing shoes didnt ya?:tonguewag:
lol

safe link via tinypic

//i38.tinypic.com/2vhyg0i.jpg

[Brentwood]

On cnn, I heard about the ...Balloon Boy Game

My score....29

http://www.balloonboygame.com/

[Spyder88]

Okay, boys and girls! It's time for some Cat Bowling! Love the disclaimer at the end of the game. :laugh:

http://www.brandextract.com/catbowling/

[Lynn Gweeny]

Carve your own Halloween pumpkin :tongue:

http://www.cubpack81.com/images/carve_pumpkin.swf

[BettyC]

Monster Mash yourself and some friends:

http://www.monstermashup.com/

[Patriot]

Okay, boys and girls! It's time for some Cat Bowling! Love the disclaimer at the end of the game. :laugh:

http://www.brandextract.com/catbowling/

Loved the witch laughing at me like I was dork when I missed all the cats too! :laugh:

[Patriot]

Carve your own Halloween pumpkin :tongue:

http://www.cubpack81.com/images/carve_pumpkin.swf

Love it and am going to share. TYVM!

[Spyder88]

Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night.

And that's when he shot her.

[islandgirl36542]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs

:laugh:

[orangetaffy]

This particular Sunday sermon.....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, 'Mom, what is butt dust?'

[Silver & Go]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs

[Silver & Go]

http://media.mtvnservices.com/video/player.swf?uri=mgid:cms:mvideo:cmt.com:40319&group=music&type=normal&ref=http%3a%2f%2fwebmail.mercury.net%2fMsgTxt.aspx %3ffid%3d0%26ID%3d6746&geo=US

[bugout]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFKsbeN01N8&feature=rec-LGOUT-exp_fresh+div-HM

hehe

I don't know if this dude is really drunk, but it's funny none the less!!
:biggrin:

[Pashie]

I imagine it could be real, as this man proves.

http://www.odt.co.nz/news/world/14561/police-arrest-drunkest-man-ever-recorded

A breath test showed blood alcohol readings of 0.489 percent, followed by 0.491, O'Donnell said, the highest readings state officials could remember for someone who didn't end up dead.

The legal limit in Rhode Island is 0.08. A level of 0.30 is classified as stupor, 0.4 is comatose and 0.5 is considered fatal, according to the health department.

[Mr. Moto2]

Maybe I'm corny, but I cracked up at the beginning when he said, "It's tastes like a Whopper with a cow attached to it." And also at the end when the he said, "I'm just glad it wasn't Windows 95."

Bloated software
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRZ4qjrqB0U

[Pretty Leaf]

In Memoriam


With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

[ninetoes]

Best DUI stop ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYbB8X4tD-c

[Jayne]

Best DUI stop ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYbB8X4tD-c

OMG..I LOVE this!!

Are you a Dancer? No I'm just Drunk?!!! LOL Had he kept his mouth shut..it might have ended up still with a GV...by breathalizer, etc. This is Priceless!


jmo

J

[ninetoes]

OMG..I LOVE this!!

Are you a Dancer? No I'm just Drunk?!!! LOL Had he kept his mouth shut..it might have ended up still with a GV...by breathalizer, etc. This is Priceless!


jmo

J

LOL who the heck can say the alphabet backwards? I couldnt do it sober, yet he did it drunk!

[Jayne]

LOL who the heck can say the alphabet backwards? I couldnt do it sober, yet he did it drunk!

HAHAHA...I can..or could!

as a music teacher I taught my kids how to do it backwards, along with the music notes..backwards..figuring out the flats and sharps (one is up..the other is down)..then used those Photo displays on those machines at the school (geeze ..what are they called??)..made them figure out numbers and words...mirror image. It's the way a brain can work. My Dad taught me that when I was just a kid. I should have been a COP! Think about those license plates...remember if you've had an ambulance behind you? Dyslexic..NO..Mirror Image!

THIS You Tube..is an obvious..I think..joke. YET..I could see someone doing that. It's what side of the Brain one works from..alcohol or not!

I've known people with a high level of alcohol arrested...not for hurting someone..for some traffic violation..and they are more Lucid..than many are sane/dry. They shouldn't be on the road..legally..or even by chance, I agree.

jmo

J

[BoredMember]

It's business time

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGOohBytKTU

( women may find this more amusing than the men do....)

[MaybytheBay]

Best DUI stop ever

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYbB8X4tD-c



Oh my gosh....I needed a laugh today. This did it for me!
Thanks for posting the link....lol...

[Jayne]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3sX30NubTs

HAHA..the subtitles..funny..it sounded like the cat was saying "Oh...Nooooo"

[Jayne]

http://media.mtvnservices.com/video/player.swf?uri=mgid:cms:mvideo:cmt.com:40319&group=music&type=normal&ref=http%3a%2f%2fwebmail.mercury.net%2fMsgTxt.aspx %3ffid%3d0%26ID%3d6746&geo=US

ROTHFMTAO!! hilarious, yes!

[need2no]

:w00t: People of Walmart slideshow:


http://www.wftv.com/slideshow/news/21509794/detail.html


:lol:

[Spendi]

I don't know if this is posted since I don't frequent this thread but a poster posted this puzzle site a few years ago and I really like it.
Jigsaw puzzles are fun for me but I don't like them sitting around on a table forever. I always do the medium difficulty level. There's tons on here. Sometimes I'll sit around and do them all night lol.

http://www.puzzlehouse.com/_onlinepuzzles/onlinepuzzlesmain.htm

:smile:

[Pretty Leaf]

http://media.mtvnservices.com/video/player.swf?uri=mgid:cms:mvideo:cmt.com:40319&group=music&type=normal&ref=http%3a%2f%2fwebmail.mercury.net%2fMsgTxt.aspx %3ffid%3d0%26ID%3d6746&geo=US

I hate when I go to a site and it says this video is not available in your country!!!

[Veritas]

:w00t: People of Walmart slideshow:


http://www.wftv.com/slideshow/news/21509794/detail.html




That was too hilarious. :lol::beer: